


The Angel Beneath

by nihil_goddess



Category: the GazettE
Genre: Angst and Porn, Drama, Fluff and Angst, Language, M/M, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-03
Updated: 2017-12-03
Packaged: 2019-02-09 21:50:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 25,424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12897570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nihil_goddess/pseuds/nihil_goddess
Summary: Yuu and Kouyou have known each other since they were young, in the midst of life, they lose contact with each other. Time and perhaps fate has brought them together, however Kouyou is caught up in a world where he doesn't belong. Yuu has always loved him and he wants Kouyou to see that he could have a different life. Will Yuu accomplish this? Or will this tear them apart?





	1. Chapter One

_"You’re better than that, so much better. Everyone seems to realize this, except you. You’re so beautiful, you’re unique and kind, I wish you’d realize that what you’re doing with yourself is only deteriorating what’s inside of you, your pure and clean soul, all of it is fading away and vanishing completely. I want you to realize that you have the world ahead of you, you’re perfect in my eyes, and you could do so much. I want you to realize this, please."_

The echoing moans were the only audible noise in the depths of the small building. The familiar noises of skin rubbing against more skin, the pleasured moans escaping a pretty and voluptuous mouth; it was obvious what was going on in the tiny room inside the building.

A slender and tall man with legs that could go on for days was sprawled on a velvety soft white couch, his hair an endless cascade of vanilla draping over the edge of the couch, and his milky white skin being prickled by the cold air of the room. He had his exquisite legs spread open in front of a shorter and more built man.

“Faster, harder, harder, yes right there!” the blonde repeated over and over, he wrapped his legs around the man in front of him, inching him closer, making their encounter much more intimate as their bodies pressed vulgarly against each other. The other man seemed to enjoy watching the blonde whimper and writhe under his touch, he pounded into him until the other was left crying and begging for mercy. Both men panted heavily, urging themselves to just let go and release the fire in the pit of their stomachs.

As soon as the other man felt himself right on the edge, he pulled himself out of the wanton body and watched as the honey-blonde haired grabbed willingly at his length and stroked and sucked until his come splattered all over his pretty face. The man reached forward and mussed locks of blonde hair back, he stared proudly at the glistening substance that rested on such an ethereal face, it was incredible how debauched he looked at this point.

This moment should’ve been an intimate moment, something that perhaps no one else should join in on, but sadly, they were joined by another person.

A man with a camera.

“You were beautiful out there Kouyou, as always.” The shorter man commented as he grabbed a towel to dry himself off, “it’s always something new and exciting with you.” The sly vixen that Kouyou was simply smiled at the words and grabbed a towel to clean himself off with, “you were…good,” he replied lowly, “but I’ve seen better.”

“Kouyou! We need you on set to edit your film!” a man called out from the distance, Kouyou grabbed one of the loose-fitting robes and slipped it on, leaving the man he had just had sex with absolutely baffled.

“I’m coming Yo-san!” he rushed over to the computer and sat down in order to watch the film he had just produced. “Y-You were truly amazing, b-by the way.” Yo-san whispered hesitantly, Kouyou smiled and ruffled his messy auburn hair back, realizing how the man clearly had a small crush on him, “thank you, but don't get any ideas.” The other stopped gawking and lightly grimaced, then continued to click away at his expensive computer.

“Well, here is the beginning…y-you walked in with the lace outfit on and then he slipped it off for you, but we also have the scene where you’re already in the room and he walks in and-…”

“I like the second scene.” Kouyou blurted out, “I think it makes more sense that I’m there waiting for him, gives more of a sexual feeling that I’m sitting on that couch touching myself as he walks in to join me…” Kouyou licked his lips seductively and purred the last few words, making Yo-san gulp loudly and shiver just a little bit. “O-Okay, then we can use the second scene…I like it better too…”

Kouyou had gotten dressed rather quickly, he did however shower thoroughly, getting rid of any unwanted scents from the man he had earlier touched so lewdly. He gathered his belongings and finally called it a day. Kouyou went to sit on one of the benches outside the small building, sadly he didn’t have a car, so he had to rely on his best friend Yuu to pick him up and drop him off whenever he had to show up for work.

He rummaged through his bag and nonchalantly pulled out a cigarette, he placed it in between his lips, still having flashbacks of what he earlier had in his mouth. Kouyou grimaced at the thought and lit the cancer stick, letting all the fumes shoot out of his nostrils and mouth. He always sat in that same spot and wondered everyday why he still did this, why it ever occurred to him to join the adult industry, and why he didn’t just go to law school like he had planned. Life definitely had thrown a curve ball at him and got him into something that at first he was hesitant about, but then gradually began to enjoy, mainly because of the pay checks he'd receive. He felt a fucked up sense of satisfaction regarding his work because ever since his parents found out about his secret life and disowned him, his best friend Yuu was kind enough to take him in and support him throughout his career, but now Kouyou could return the favor and take care of them both. He felt proud of what he had accomplished, no matter how messed up the situation was.

He was now entering his third year in the industry, three long years of doing inexplicable things and losing every inch of self respect plausible. Kouyou didn’t like to think that those hectic three years had gone to waste though; he made good amounts of money and carried on a rather regular life. He got through life just fine, he didn’t need any support from his family, the only family he ever came to know was Yuu.

“Kou!” A familiar voice called out from the distance, “I’m here!” Kouyou opened his eyes and sat up quickly, “Oh, h-hey Yuu! I was dozing off, I had a really long day today.” He threw the cigarette down on the ground and smashed it with his foot. “You do look a bit tired, I’m actually hungry. I’m going to pick up some food, do you want some?” Yuu asked as he helped Kouyou with his bag, “we can go to your favorite ramen shop!”

Kouyou smiled cheekily, “our favorite ramen shop.” He corrected him.

Who could turn down a nice hot bowl of ramen in such weather?

“So how was your day?” Yuu asked as he drove through the city, his hands firmly grasping the wheel, yet he made sure to pay close attention to the passenger sitting next to him. “Same shit.” Kouyou replied indifferently, “Met another douche bag and was forced to fuck him.”

Those words hurt Yuu more than they should; he never really explained to Kouyou how he didn’t like what he did, especially because he had been secretly in love with him since they were children, but that’s a story best saved for later.

He supported Kouyou through almost anything, but he didn’t support his profession, however, Yuu knew that there was no way Kouyou would ever change his mind, even if he put his two cents in. “O-Oh…” Yuu mumbled, ‘same old, same old then.”

When they arrived at the small ramen shop Yuu got out of the car quickly and rushed inside, avoiding the cold breeze at all costs. “You’re always so cold, ” Kouyou commented as he joined Yuu inside the toasty restaurant, “but you do a good job at keeping me warm.” He rested his head on Yuu’s shoulder and took a deep breath.

Yuu’s heart began beating irregularly fast, he almost had to catch his breath, he always got that feeling when Kouyou got too close to him. “Let’s go sit down…” Yuu whispered, they walked towards their own ‘reserved’ spot in the shop and sat down on the soft leathery chairs they had grown very accustomed to.

“It’s so nice to unwind in a place like this,” Yuu observed, “Doesn’t it remind you of our childhood?”

Kouyou nodded, “It does, it reminds me of when we’d go to your house after school and your mom would make ramen for us. Mmm I miss her cooking so much.” Yuu smirked, “I do miss her cooking. We should make a trip down to Mie to visit her sometime.”

Kouyou silently agreed, the smile on his face was an answer enough. “Hello!” A familiar face greeted them, “Welcome! Would you two like the usual?” Yuu and Kouyou nodded in tandem.

“Alright! Two bowls of miso ramen coming right up! Just how you two like them!” the waitress smiled and then bowed, “thank you!” Kouyou replied, he bowed too and handed her the menus.

“Isn’t it odd how they know us here?” Kouyou asked, “I guess they don’t have to take our order anymore.” Yuu chuckled, “I guess we just come here too much…they know exactly what we like.”

The gossamer blonde smiled and then diverted his gaze towards the window, his eyes dancing to the rhythm of the rustling leaves and receding petals as they fell upon the ground. Yuu looked deep into the pair of irises that seemed almost dead. He remembered still when Kouyou was younger and so full of life, he missed that, he missed the Kouyou he always cared for, the Kouyou that was evanescent to others, but never to him. Yuu felt like he was Kouyou’s protector, he protected him and cared for him because no one ever did.

“Here you are!” the friendly waitress announced as she set down their bowls of ramen, “Enjoy your meal!” she bowed as she retired herself back into the kitchen.

“Mm! This looks absolutely delicious!” Yuu exclaimed, he whiffed the delicious steam of the ramen and began eating. Kouyou grabbed his spoon and brought the piping hot liquid up to his lips. “I love the feeling of hot soup on a muggy day.” He commented, “It’s exactly what I’ve been craving all day.”

Yuu half-smiled, “I’m glad Kou, I love seeing you happy.”

The other let out an amused laugh as he set his spoon down, “Don’t be so corny Yuu! You sound like you’re my boyfriend or something.”

_I wish I could be,_ Yuu thought to himself, but instead he just laughed back, “I didn’t mean for it to sound like that, I just like to see you smile, that’s all.”

Kouyou rose an eyebrow in question, “Hm, since when? I mean, I know you and I are close and we do things to make each other happy from time to time, but do you legitimately like to see me smiling or…?”

Yuu was speechless for a moment, since when did Kouyou show so much inquiry in such a topic?

“I-I always have.” The dark haired replied hesitantly, “Maybe it’s new to you, but it’s not to me.”

Kouyou huffed slightly as he shuffled in his seat, obviously seeking more information from the other. “You think I don’t notice.” he began lowly, making sure to put emphasis on the ‘you’ to let the other know that he was on to him.

“Kou, it’s not a big deal, really,” he tried to keep his composure because inside he was shaking, “I do this for a living, remember? I work in customer service, a smile from others is what I strive for.”

Kouyou continued to eat his meal, ignoring the other and his fit of denial. “Okay Yuu-sama.” He mumbled teasingly, “I’ll stop harassing you now.”

Their small lunch date went smoothly after that, as it always did. Yuu cracked silly jokes about his day at work as Kouyou listened intently and laughed at all the silly puns. People in the ramen shop always seemed to think they were an item, especially with their demeanor. Yuu would always hold Kouyou close to him, ringing their arms together as they walked towards the car.

Yuu always held a secret admiration towards Kouyou; it was one of his childhood secrets so to speak . Ever since he saw that small angelic creature, he became bewitched, enticed by his alluring good looks and personality.

Yuu began getting close to Kouyou, each and every day gaining more and more of his trust. They became good friends in no time and soon, inseparable. Yuu always protected Kouyou, he made sure to keep bullies away from him at all costs, Kouyou was prone to getting bullied due to this feminine demeanor. However, Yuu never saw him as 'odd' or 'weird' as the other kids would call him, he found Kouyou unique and beautiful. 

Kouyou was always thankful for Yuu. They would share their lunch, their toys and even secrets with each other. Despite them being so close, Yuu never told Kouyou how he felt...his true feelings...it was something he knew he could never tell the other.

They knew they'd always be there for each other, nothing could pull them apart, that is...until...

Kouyou’s family decided to move back to Tokyo, leaving the small town in Mie behind and leaving Yuu and his broken heart behind. Both little boys found it extremely hard to say good bye to each other. Kouyou cried to his mother, begging her to let him stay, he couldn't imagine losing Yuu, _his_ Yuu.

They made promises together, promising each other that they’d be reunited and some day they’d make their dreams come true.

Kouyou never once forgot about his Yuu, he’d call him everyday and let him know just how much he missed him. The mere sound of Kouyou’s voice was enough to let Yuu get through the grueling days.

However, as time passed, they grew older, and as expected, they grew apart.

Kouyou barely finished school and started to rebel against his parents. He’d go out at night and get wasted with strangers; he’d inject various illicit drugs in his system and wake up on the front porch of someone’s house disoriented and high as a kite.

After he got in legal troubles, he decided to go to rehab and get clean, however that didn't last long and Kouyou had been thrown out on the street by his parents, they couldn't deal with his problems any longer.

Yuu on the other hand was the complete opposite. He finished school, got a job and moved into the city. He still remembered the promises he had made with Kouyou and grew hopeful on finding him. He thought perhaps Kouyou had succeeded in his dream of going to law school and becoming a lawyer.

Yuu searched high and low for Kouyou, always feeling guilty for letting him go completely. Yuu knew deep down he wasn't whole without Kouyou. He always had a nagging feeling deep inside him and hoped everyday that fate would bring them back together.

One day as Yuu sat in a restaurant enjoying his lunch, he noticed someone sitting on the other side of the room, someone who reminded him too much of Kouyou. But there was no way it could be him, his hair was horribly bleached, his body so weak and frail, he didn’t shine like Kouyou did. But something about the man drew Yuu closer and closer, close enough to say a few words to him.

The tarnished blonde barely looked up, his eyes swollen and red, he looked like he was about to pass out. “K-Kouyou?” Yuu whispered hesitantly, he unknowingly said Kouyou’s name, thinking maybe this stranger could be him.

“Yuu?” the other replied barely audible, Yuu’s eyes lit up as he gently wrapped his arms around him. “Yes Kou, it’s me…” he sobbed slightly.

Kouyou couldn’t believe it, after all these years he finally found his Yuu. He hugged Yuu tighter and sobbed uncontrollably, “I-I’ve missed you…so much.”

Ever since their first encounter in years, Yuu and Kouyou became inseparable again. Yuu helped Kouyou get back on his feet, he gave him a home; he fed him and helped him pay off his rehabilitation fees. Kouyou couldn’t be any more grateful about all the nice things Yuu was doing for him; he knew that somehow he had to pay him back.

That’s when things got a little complicated for Kouyou. He knew for a fact he couldn’t get a high paying job because he never finished his education, and he most certainly didn’t want to be stuck at a stupid low paying job for the rest of his life. He got in contact with one of his old ‘friends’ and asked him about hooking him up with a job that, in his 'friends' words, was ‘easy’ money.

As expected, 'his friend' managed to get him a job interview, but he never told Kouyou what the job actually was. Yuu was skeptical at first; he thought it would be logical for Kouyou to find out firsthand what he was getting himself into before he signed any paper work. But Kouyou didn’t listen and went to the interview anyway.

The person whom he met up with was a middle-aged man; he looked like someone with a lot of money. This detail definitely caught Kouyou’s attention; he tried to win him over with his looks first of all. On that specific day he wore a tight fitting shirt and his tightest jeans, and even applied on makeup, just a little of course.

At the time Kouyou was only 23, still so young and naïve, he didn’t quite know what he was getting himself into. The man, however, was enthralled with Kouyou. He loved how effortlessly beautiful he was, and he wasn’t shy about telling him either. Kouyou was sure he was going to get asked to be his secretary or something, but what came next was a hard slap in the face.

Kouyou got offered about $2000 dollars for one scene. A scene? he thought. The man explained to him what the scene was going to consist of. Kouyou stared a him with wide eyes, a single tear rolling down his cheek. He had done questionable things for money, but never sex. He shook his head, he wasn't going to do that. No, no, no...he couldn't...could he? 

Kouyou stormed out of the room in tears, he was not going to cave, he couldn’t do that to his body. The man rushed out of the room and went to comfort him. He explained to him how yes, at first he was going to have negative thoughts about the adult industry, mostly everyone who got introduced to it denied it at first. He told him how he shouldn’t deny it 100%. That the environment was safe and he had nothing to worry about. He told him to at least give it a shot and if he didn’t like it, then he was more than welcome to leave.

Kouyou wiped his tears and pushed aside his conscience, if he was going to do this, he didn’t need the extra guilt biting at him. He knew that he needed the damn money, he couldn't be a free loader for the rest of his life, he needed to pay Yuu back for everything he had done for him.

With one hard gulp and shaking legs, Kouyou agreed. What other choice did he have? he thought to himself. It's not going to go on forever, its a one a time deal.

_Yeah, right._

The man led Kouyou into a small dark room; he sat down on one of the chairs there, just as the man instructed him. And what Kouyou feared most was what the man brought out next, a camera.

Suddenly the lights went on and the room became shockingly bright. He turned the camera on, and faced it towards Kouyou. Kouyou froze, not knowing what to do; he simply stared at the camera, feeling awkward and uneasy of the whole situation. The other walked towards him and told him to relax, and then he began rubbing his shoulders, slowly his hands began moving down, lower and lower until he urged Kouyou to remove his shirt. Kouyou swallowed hard and then slipped off his shirt, the man began kissing at Kouyou’s face, kissing him lewdly with his mouth open and touching his bare chest as his mouth began to go lower.

Before Kouyou knew it, he was completely naked with the camera still on him, the other was nude as well, and all the soft touches became needy pleas from the other man. He wanted Kouyou, but Kouyou did not want him.

“Are you having fun baby?” the despicable man whispered in Kouyou’s ear, the other moaned lowly as he felt his cock twitch in the man’s hand. Kouyou wanted to push him away, he wanted to scream and cry, he didn’t like how any of this was going, he wanted to disappear. 

The man ordered Kouyou to go on the bed and lay down; the frightened blonde practically dragged his body to the big bed in the room and then sat down. The man now had the camera pointed towards them on the bed, Kouyou’s body completely exposed and at this point degraded.

The only thing in Kouyou’s mind was the money, and how happy he’d be when he finally paid Yuu back.

Kouyou went home that night feeling like the biggest piece of shit in the entire world. He locked himself in his room and cried the entire night. Yuu grew worried, and tried as hard as he could to talk to Kouyou, but the other denied him any contact.

Kouyou couldn’t believe that he had let a disgusting man video tape him as he fucked him. He couldn’t fathom the fact that he had let another man touch him in such ways, he was sore and scared, he felt putrid.


	2. Chapter Two

About three weeks had gone by since the horrid experience that permanently traumatized Kouyou. And on top of that Kouyou had begun to act weird around Yuu, he wouldn’t talk to him as much and he’d made little to no physical contact; and this of course startled the other, simply because he wasn’t expecting Kouyou to be so distant all of a sudden.

He never even asked about the job interview, he figured it’d be best if he didn’t remind Kouyou of the rejection that is, assuming Kouyou didn’t get the job, whatever the job may be. Kouyou on the other hand was just undergoing a serious meltdown that he didn’t want to show to anyone. He kept to himself and thought long and hard about what he should do, should he just take the job and make a quick buck? Even just for a little while? But what if everyone saw? What if everyone began to judge him and his choices? Kouyou was well aware that not everyone would support this, he wasn’t even 100% convinced he’d be able to go through with it, he simply wanted to try it out. 

The following week, Kouyou went back to the same office where he had the first encounter with the perverted man. Thankfully, he wasn’t there that day, the person whom Kouyou spoke to seemed to be a little more focused on the business side of the job, rather than on the physical. He spoke briefly to Kouyou about the requirements and what he needed to understand, Kouyou was pretty convinced that he’d do a couple of scenes and then leave the agency forever, but little did he know, once he wrote his name on that contract, he’d be signed off forever.

The man that spoke to Kouyou also told him that he reviewed the footage that was taken when he first went to the agency, and this made Kouyou blush and shake nervously. But this man didn’t seem to gawk at him like the other did, he told him how he admired his will power and effortless beauty in front of a camera.

Kouyou was flattered of course, he made himself believe that this wasn’t going to be as bad as he thought it would be, he believed in himself, and he believed he could go through with it. So at the end of the second job 'interview', Kouyou agreed to sign the contract. It was done, Kouyou had signed, and he was now property of this agency. An agency that could do things unimaginable to him, but Kouyou didn’t seem to mind. He knew that at first, he’d be disgusted with himself; he knew that he’d probably have to go to the shrink or something, but he was just desperate to get some money, the debt he was in was becoming far too great, he wanted to pay Yuu back as soon as he could.

And that’s when it hit him, how was he going to tell Yuu? His best friend, his savior, the person that looked out for him, how would he take seeing Kouyou with such a job? Yuu was not going to be happy, that was for sure.

That evening, Kouyou got home rather quickly, a side of him was excited because he’d finally begin making money, but the other side of him was absolutely frightened because of Yuu’s possible reaction. Kouyou found his brunette best friend sitting on his bed reading an old book; he flipped the pages delicately as his eyes skimmed over the words closely.

“Y-Yuu?” Kouyou whispered lowly, “can I talk to you for a second?”

Yuu smiled suddenly as he noticed Kouyou standing at his doorway and nodded, “Of course Kou! Is everything okay?”

“Everything is fine!” Kouyou exclaimed, “I just have good news…and um, bad news.”

Yuu sat up and cleared his throat, “Oh no Kou…what did you do?”

The blonde chuckled feebly as he went to sit on the bed next to Yuu, “I didn’t do anything... For your information Yuu-sama, I got a job.”

Yuu’s eyes lit up at the words, “Seriously! Oh my God! Kou that’s amazing! Congrats!”

Kouyou smiled and then sighed, “But then there’s the bad news…” he fiddled with his thumbs for moment, then he looked back up at Yuu. “Well this job is…not something fancy or even good for that matter, but it will pay the bills, or at least pay you back all the money I owe you.”

Yuu grabbed Kouyou’s hands tenderly, “I told you that you don’t have to pay me back right away, take your time, you’re not being rushed. Where are you working at?”

Kouyou began trembling and quickly his vision went blurry, “I-I, well, Yuu, please don’t get mad at me, please…I-I got a job where I’m going to d-do a-adult m-movies…”

Yuu’s hands suddenly went limp as they let go of Kouyou’s, his mouth slightly dropped, “Kouyou…no, you’re lying…I know you are…no...Please no.”

Kouyou’s eyes began watering, he pressed his hands to his eyes as he sobbed, “I’m so sorry Yuu…please don’t hate me…” he murmured softly, “I’m only doing it for a little while and it’s easy mo-…”

“NO KOUYOU! YOU CAN’T DO THIS!” Yuu stood up, hovering angrily over Kouyou. “YOU ARE SO MUCH BETTER THAN THAT! YOU COULD GET ANOTHER JOB, JUST NOT THIS ONE. KOU…PLEASE DON’T DO IT.”

Kouyou was definitely not expecting this kind of reaction from Yuu, he knew that he was going to be upset, but not crying and hollering like this. “Yuu, please calm down, please. It’s not going to be permanent…I just need the money. Please understand.”

Yuu was fuming, cursing different things under his breath as he yanked out a cigarette from the nightstand, “Why the fuck should I understand Kouyou? Tell me how I can be okay with my best friend doing this kind of shit to himself? Going out and selling his body to a bunch of disgusting sick men.”

Kouyou could not believe the words coming out of Yuu’s mouth, “I am not prostituting myself Yuu Shiroyama!” Kouyou shouted as he stood up, “I am simply doing a few videos and getting paid over $2000 for them! Do you know how much money that is for someone like me?”

Yuu was still not having it; he gave Kouyou a disapproving and disgusted look, then he lit the cigarette and stormed out of the room, slamming the door on his way out. Tears rolling down his eyes as the loud slam of the door echoed through their apartment. He didn'd want to believe a word Kouyou told him, deep down in his heart Yuu believed or at least wanted to believe that Kouyou could be his, and his _only._

Kouyou couldn’t believe his best friend would do this to him, abandon him in a time of need, what he was doing wasn’t so terrible, why couldn’t Yuu see that?

Kouyou went to bed that night completely heartbroken, he was not expecting Yuu to act in such a way. He wanted at least some form of support from him, just a little; he definitely wasn’t expecting his terrible outburst.

Regardless of what Yuu thought, Kouyou was still going to go through with it. He needed that money, at this point he sought no other way out, he just wanted to get the videos over and done with, and then when he had the money everything would go back to normal.

A few weeks went by and Yuu had never even mentioned the topic, he acted nonchalantly towards Kouyou, but definitely not rude. He’d ask him from time to time if he needed anything, and Kouyou would sheepishly shake his head.

It was hard for him to be in such terms with Yuu, he hated fighting with him, he was his only friend nonetheless. What else could he do honestly? This was his life for crying out loud, he had the right to do anything, even if Yuu didn’t approve of it, who was he to dominate him completely?

Kouyou, however, kept going to the agency, just so he could get a feel of the place, he’d get told constantly how lucky he was, because jobs like the one he was getting weren’t often handed out that easily. Kouyou just so happened to be exactly what they were looking for. Tall, lean, with beautiful bone structure and those luscious plump lips were just the cherry on top of a perfect sundae.

As time passed, Kouyou finally landed a major role; he had been getting lots of practice around the camera and with being completely comfortable whilst nude. At this point, he didn’t give a damn who looked at his body, he was proud of it. When time came for him to be serious about his new job, he did it so effortlessly that everyone in the room became shocked. The blonde moved so swiftly around the camera, his body turning to his own silent rhythm, those long legs that extended for miles looked breathtaking on camera.

The man who was waiting to touch him was practically drooling as Kouyou walked over to him. He grabbed him at once and began kissing him, his hands traveling allover Kouyou’s body, touching everything in sight. Kouyou had a pleased look on his face, his make up only complementing his already natural beauty and his hair done so he’d look like a beautiful movie star.

Everyone in the room couldn’t take their eyes off of Kouyou, and how natural he was. It was almost like he was made to do this type of thing, to be exposed in front of a camera and have a strange man treat him like a deity.

In no time Kouyou grew to love his new job, he loved the attention he got, he loved the pleasure, and he became addicted to that vain feeling that rushed through his veins and he was definitely becoming addicted to sex.

Kouyou realized that this job had become permanent and in more ways than one, and he was grateful for that. He loved his profession; he absolutely couldn’t get enough of it. He’d get tons of flowers and gifts delivered to his apartment, all of them filled with cards from his fans. Kouyou was obsessed with becoming exactly what his fans wanted him to be, he did all sorts of diets and treatments just so he could maintain his figure and flawless face.

And when he got his first pay check he did what he had set out to do in the first place.

He gave it all to Yuu.

Yuu wanted to deny him, he wanted no part, but mostly he was shocked, especially because he had stayed silent through most of everything that seemed to flash before his eyes. He wasn’t expecting Kouyou to get so successful so quick, but it was no surprise, Yuu had a secret agenda of his own, on countless occasions he’d go online to watch Kouyou’s videos and when no one else was around he’d touch himself to the mere sound of Kouyou moaning, he despised the men that got to touch Kouyou in such lewd ways with a fiery passion.

Yuu never felt this sort of attraction towards anyone. The women he'd sleep with were nothing compared to the fire that raged inside him for his best friend. But he never told anyone how he really felt about his best friend, he adored Kouyou, he wanted badly to touch him, to run his hands up his thighs, to kiss his lips and make sweet love to him.

But at this rate, he’d never get the chance, Kouyou was too caught up with fucking other men, he stopped giving Yuu any form of affection. Those late night cuddles and tender hugs they used to share eventually vanished. Yuu was forced to sleep with no one else lying next to him, he missed Kouyou’s warmth too much, no one could give him what he truly wanted, only _him._

The years began to pass, Kouyou’s fame grew bigger and bigger and Yuu had no room to even complain. They soon moved out of their old apartment and into a bigger and prettier one, Kouyou paid to have it done just the way they wanted it done, he didn’t care about the cost, he wanted to have the house of his dreams.

Everything was panning out well, until Kouyou’s family found out about his profession. They were speechless at first, they couldn’t believe how low Kouyou had sunk, they expected so much out of him, and he threw it all away for ‘easy’ money.

His parents disowned him, yet this didn’t seem to faze Kouyou, he never spoke to any of them ever again and declared Yuu as his only family.

Yuu had lost a bit of himself in this whole mess too; he began seeing life through Kouyou’s eyes and realized that as long as he pretended to like what Kouyou did he’d get some benefits. He made sure to always be on his good side, he feared losing the only thing he’d ever held dear to him.

Even though he hated seeing Kouyou do such things with his body, he knew that the money he made was paying for everything nice in their life.

Yuu pushed aside his morals and beliefs in order to maintain the life he currently lived, but he knew one day all of this would blow up in his face.

************************************************************************

“I just want to go home and sleep for the rest of my life,” Kouyou blurted out as soon as they reached their apartment, he was quick to jump out the car and get inside the building.

“Hey! Wait up!” Yuu shouted from the distance as he finished parking his car, “I know it’s cold but don’t leave me!” he jogged a bit, reaching Kouyou as they both made their way inside.

Kouyou ruffled Yuu’s hair and slightly cuddled him, “I’m sorry Yuu-sama, I’m just rushing to my beloved bed. She misses me…”

Yuu chuckled then pressed the buttons on the elevator to go up, “you’ll be home soon, and in your beloved bed.” Kouyou smiled slightly then stepped out of the elevator as it stopped on their floor.

Kouyou waited for Yuu to come forth with the house keys and then urged the man to hurry and open the door, “Dearest bed here I come!” Kouyou called out as soon as he stepped inside the cozy apartment.

He threw his bag on the floor and ran to his room, closing the door in his way. Yuu smiled to himself as he watched Kouyou run to his bed, he knew how exhausting his job was, and he hated it.

Kouyou was always too tired to do anything anymore, he’d spend more time sleeping than anything else, and Yuu had to shut up and get used to it. He missed the days when he and Kouyou would go out and enjoy a lovely stroll in the park, or when they would go out to the movies.

It was like they were secretly dating, but not quite. Yuu had to deal with the fact that Kouyou was a single man and he enjoyed that life, he’d be forced to listen to Kouyou as he had casual sex with strange men that came in and out of the apartment, most of them were men that Kouyou had worked with in the past, men that wanted yet another taste of the beautiful blonde.

Yuu didn’t know how long he’d have to pretend for Kouyou, he didn’t know when the façade was going to end. Certainly Kouyou wasn’t going to do this for the rest of his life; Yuu could see it in his eyes that he was becoming weary of everything in his life, perhaps he’d find something better to do with the rest of his days, that’s the only thing Yuu could ever think of.

He wanted so much better for Kouyou, he wanted Kouyou to realize that everything he could ever want was inches away from him. Yuu knew that he could make him happy; he could satisfy every need Kouyou could ever have. It was in his nature to please others, especially Kouyou, someone he had admired and loved for many years and he’d do anything to try and make Kouyou happy, even if it meant pretending to support him through a dreadful career.

While Kouyou slept, Yuu sat in front of his laptop and aimlessly stared at the screen, thinking that maybe something interesting would pop up to distract him and perhaps that would get his mind off of Kouyou for a while. He simply could not understand how he became so attached to Kouyou, sure he was his best friend, a friend that had been in his life for many many years and a friend that he miraculously found after they were so suddenly ripped apart. Yuu had convinced himself that he never would find Kouyou, especially in a city as big as Tokyo.

Yuu always found it strange how he had indeed found Kouyou, after all the years passed, he thought it to be so unexpected and incidental; it was like fate brought them together on that precise day. It was meant for them to find each other, especially when one needed the other as much as Kouyou needed Yuu. Yuu never regretted helping him in his time of need; he knew that Kouyou would’ve done the same for him if need be.

_“I know for a fact you and I are gonna grow up to be old and grey together.” The small boy said lowly as he picked at the grass next to him, “we’re going to live in Tokyo together, and have the prettiest house!” the other little boy couldn’t help but laugh loudly, he laid down on the warm grass and stared up at the summer sky._

_“I know we are Kou, we’re gonna have a big house! It will come true.” Both boys stared up at the cloudless sky and watched as the sun began going down, a beautiful swirl of orange, purple and pink began to form, followed closely by endless layers of dark blue. “You’re my best friend…” one of the boys whispered, “you do know that, right Yuu?”_

_“Of course Kouyou!” the other replied, “You’re my best friend too, that hasn’t changed.”_

_“We’re always going to be together, right?”_

_“Yes Kou, I promise you that I won’t ever leave you…ever.”_

That same memory from Yuu’s childhood haunted him on various occasions; he’d always find himself reminiscing about the past. About all the time he spent with Kouyou and how close they were, back when Kouyou was an innocent little kid, the kid that would always get picked on and made fun of.

But now if all the bullies from back in the day were to look at him, they probably wouldn’t dare to say anything. Kouyou had money, power, and fame; three components that gave him a heads up over everyone else.

Yuu could still see a little bit of his childhood whenever he peered into Kouyou’s eyes though, he could see the little twinkle, no matter how small it was, that he saw when he first met him. That small detail still gave Yuu hope; hope that someday he might get his old Kouyou back.

Hours had passed and Kouyou still slept as soundly as ever, it was hard for Yuu not to get bored, he had nothing to do, no friends to visit and no family close by.

Whenever Kouyou had house parties, Yuu was forced to mingle with all of Kouyou’s ‘friends’ and pretend to like what Kouyou did. At this point Yuu’s life was a lie, everything about his existence became false to him. He had to pretend to like everything that in reality he hated. He despised the men Kouyou went out with, the revealing outfits he’d wear and the disgusting layers of makeup he’d cake on his already perfect face.

But whenever Kouyou asked him if he looked nice, Yuu would lie and feed him with all sorts of lies. In part, Yuu was being a bit of an idiot. He could’ve very well found another place to live and new friends to pass the time with, but he didn’t want any of that, he just wanted to be with Kouyou. Simply seeing Kouyou’s face was enough to make him happy, even if each day that passed, Yuu’s existence was becoming more and more diminutive in Kouyou’s busy life. Maybe Yuu was a masochist?

“Yuu, are you up?” Kouyou’s sweet voice asked lowly, “Yuu?” Yuu flicked his eyes open and looked up to see his best friend wrapped in an oversized fleece blanket standing in front of him.

“Y-Yeah, I never really went to sleep, I was just resting.” Yuu replied, his voice seeming tired.

“How long was I out for?” Kouyou asked as he sat down next to Yuu on the enormous leather couch, “Maybe three or four hours.” Yuu answered, “And that’s a pretty short time, knowing you.”

Kouyou snickered, “I could've kept sleeping then!” Yuu scooted closer to Kouyou, his hand reaching out and grasping Kouyou’s smaller and colder hand, “why are you so cold?” Yuu asked.

“I don’t know, that’s why I came here. I needed warmth from you.” Kouyou rested his head on the brunette’s shoulder and took a deep breath. “I really hate winter; it makes me all gloomy for some reason.”

Yuu turned his head slightly, “I actually really like it.” He said, “I love snow! I know you really don’t.”

Kouyou held Yuu’s hand tighter, “Yeah, I hate the snow...I love spring so much more, when the birds are out and the flowers begin to bloom, winter is too depressing.”

Yuu smiled at the blonde’s small observation, he remembered when Kouyou was younger and when he’d always go to his backyard and help him pick out flowers, then he’d force Yuu to put them in a vase and then put them in his room. Not a lot had changed actually, Kouyou still loved having fresh flowers in the house, and there were always new bouquets of flowers in a vase in the kitchen. Kouyou bought them every day without fail.

“What are you going to want for your birthday?” Kouyou asked suddenly, “it’s a little over a week away.”

Yuu sighed, “I don’t want anything Kou, really. Maybe you and I can go to dinner, and that will be enough.”

Kouyou lightly huffed, “No way! I’m going to get you something, I just don’t know what.” Yuu thought it’d be silly to keep going back and forth with the blonde; he knew either way he wouldn’t win. His mischievous best friend always got his way…always.

“I can’t believe I’m getting old.” Yuu commented, “I’m turning 28, kind of hard to believe.” Kouyou laughed whole-heartedly, he loved how obsessed with his age Yuu was, and it was funny to him because Yuu didn’t look a day over 20. He never seemed to age, whereas Kouyou felt like each day that passed, he’d get older and older and less of who he used to be.

“You’re not old! You’re the perfect age!” the perky blonde said, he nudged Yuu on the side playfully, receiving a light squeeze on his arm from the other.

“Perfect for what?” Yuu asked. “Maybe perfect for traveling the world!” Kouyou exclaimed, “For doing something crazy, something you never dreamed of doing.” _Like telling you how I really feel about you?_ Yuu thought to himself as Kouyou spoke.

“I don’t think it’s perfect, it’s just new to me I guess. I think I want to do something crazy though, maybe I’ll get a new piercing.”

Kouyou smiled wide at that, “I agree! I mean, I love your belly button piercing, but I don’t get to see it as often as I’d like.” He smirked up at Yuu, while the other simply giggled.

The next morning Yuu found it extremely hard to get up. He had stayed up almost all night with Kouyou talking. Since the blonde had previously gotten a few hours of sleep, he was wide awake and barely let Yuu sleep and insisted on him staying up past midnight to just chat.

Yuu dragged himself out of the comfort of Kouyou’s arms and tip toed to the bathroom. He was quite content actually because he got to sleep cuddled with Kouyou again, just like old times.

That was perhaps the only positive thing about them staying up late; they ended up passing out in each other’s arms.

That day happened to be Kouyou’s one and only day off and Yuu figured that he’d probably sleep the whole day. He didn’t understand how if Kouyou only filmed a few times a week, how come he had to show up at the studio every day? He seldom asked Kouyou about his job and the details of it, he simply did not give a damn. The less he knew the better. He just liked to see Kouyou get some rest, despite him only going into the studio on most days to go ever his shoots, he overexerted himself, and by the end of each day he was in dire need of rest.

Whereas Yuu went to school and worked, he was striving to earn his degree in business, he’d dreamed of doing that ever since he was a kid. Yuu remembered when Kouyou wanted to go to law school and become a lawyer, he knew that he could still do it if he really wanted to, but at the rate he was going, that dream was beginning to disappear into oblivion.

“Yuu! Hurry up and come here, hurry!” Yuu heard his best friend shout from the other end of the apartment; he dropped his toothbrush and rushed over to Kouyou.

“What is it? Are you okay?” he asked distraughtly. “Look outside! Can you believe this shit?” Kouyou answered angrily, “It’s snowing.” Yuu peered out of the window and noticed the small white flakes falling from the sky, the snow was sticking quickly and soon the grey of the sidewalk became covered with a thick layer of white pellets.

“No wonder it’s so cold in here,” Kouyou said, his arms wrapping around his slender frame tightly, “I really don’t want it to keep snowing.”

Yuu laughed, “Why does it even matter? You’re staying home today anyway. I have to go to work and then go to school.”

Kouyou huffed, “well if this shit keeps falling then most likely it’s going to be a hot mess tomorrow, and I have work in the morning.” Yuu unknowingly rolled his eyes, great, he thought, he was most likely going to have to get up at the crack of dawn to take Kouyou to the studio, because work in the morning usually meant crack of dawn.

“But don’t worry Yuu, you don’t have to take me.” Kouyou smiled furtively, “Akira’s coming to pick me up tomorrow.” That made Yuu’s stomach churn, in a horrible way of course. He hated the Akira bastard more than anything or anyone else for that matter.

Akira had dated Kouyou right after they did a scene together, and the blonde believed to be in love with him, that is, until the asshole cheated on him with not one, but three girls. Yuu never understood why Kouyou forgave him; he thought that what he did was unforgivable. But the man showered Kouyou with expensive gifts, surprise dinner dates and a ton of ‘I’m sorry’ cards until the blonde caved and gave him another chance, but as friends.

Akira couldn’t turn that down, so ever since he remained in contact with Kouyou, and that drove Yuu over the edge. Every time Kouyou even mentioned the other man, Yuu’s blood would boil. And to add insult to injury, the motherfucker got to have sex with Kouyou on various occasions, and Yuu would notice when, because the blonde would come home with red marks on his neck and a big smile on his face.

“I know you don’t like him…” Kouyou whispered, almost as if he could read the thoughts running through Yuu’s head. “I’ll leave before you even wake up so you don’t have to see him.”

Yuu knew he couldn’t see Akira’s face without wanting to destroy it, he was at least thankful that Kouyou realized the hatred he had for him without questioning it.

“Okay…” Yuu replied lowly, “Well just make sure you rest plenty today, and don’t hate the snow too much. You don’t look cute when you’re angry.”

Kouyou smiled, “but I am cute, right?” Yuu hugged him tightly and kissed the top of his head, “you’re beautiful Kou.”

************************************************************************

Traffic was a nightmare, the roads were a nightmare, and the snow was a nightmare. Yuu hated life more than anything at that very second.

“Come on! Move you idiot it’s green!” he shouted, it was impossible to see the road but the lights were bright enough for anyone to see, and at this point, the traffic was becoming a bumper to bumper hell because of the moron that wouldn’t move. “I cannot believe this…” Yuu mumbled to himself, he could be at home, in bed, with Kouyou, watching stupid horror films, but at least he’d be warm, and with Kouyou.

But sadly, he had to show up for work and he knew that even on days such as this one, they would still open and expect everyone to show up and slap a fake smile on their face. Yuu needed to look for a new job as soon as possible, he hated his current job, and he didn’t want to just rely on Kouyou for money, he’d become a leech rather than a friend if he did that.

After an hour on the road, Yuu finally made it to work; he was in the worst mood possible and was definitely not in the mood for his boss to yell at him.

“Shiroyama, you are late!” the shorter and older man shouted at Yuu, “The snow should be no excuse! Get to work!” Yuu fumed at the man’s words, if only he knew how terrible it was outside, but the asshole never left his store because he happened to live there too.

Yuu put on his uniform and slapped the frown off his face, at the end of the day; he just cared about making enough money to at least help him get by. “You made it!” Aiko, his co-worker said to him, “I thought you weren’t going to make it.”

“I had no choice…” Yuu sighed, “I got stuck in traffic, and it’s so ugly outside. I hope I can at least go home early today.” Aiko shook her head, “I highly doubt it Yuu, it’s a really busy day. Everyone’s stocking up on food; we’re supposed to get hit even harder tonight.”

That’s wonderful, just what he needed, a blizzard, another reason as to why he’d be even later to work. “You know he’d still make us work, right?” Yuu whispered.

“Oh I am positive! He’s just such a nice man, always putting his employee’s lives first.” Aiko replied sarcastically.

“Right, the nicest man I know.”

The day at work seemed to be lagging on forever, and Yuu was counting the seconds until he’d get to go home. He was cold, sick of people, sick of his boss, just sick of everything. But then he remembered he had to go to class too.

Yuu heavily contemplated just not showing up to class, one day that he missed wouldn’t hurt him, right? No, he couldn’t. He had to go, he knew he had an important test to take, and no amount of begging would ever let him retake it if he missed it.

“Just a few more hours…” Aiko whispered to Yuu, “Hang in there.” Just a few more hours indeed, the brunette stalked the clock like a hawk, watching intently as the hands moved and moved.

When it became time to finally close up the shop, Yuu was exhausted. Thankfully snow had died down a little bit, so the traffic probably wouldn’t be as bad. At least class was only two hours long, he knew he could still make it through the day, by the time he got home he would probably be crawling to his bed. He loved sleeping, not as much as Kouyou did, but he loved it.

Then he began thinking about his best friend again, and how his day went. Yuu was 100% sure that Kouyou did nothing the whole day but sleep. Yuu’s eyes were beginning to close as the professor began speaking, his head slowly falling on the books in front of him. He snapped out of it quickly and sat up; he had to pay at least a little bit of attention.

“I’m handing out your tests class. Remember, no talking. Good luck.” The professor said as he began handing out stacks of paper through the rows. Yuu got his paper and stared at it, his eyes quickly going as he tried to read. Every character looked fuzzy and squiggly, he knew it was only because he was tired, but in reality, he had no desire to take any test. Yuu wished on his lucky star to at least get a passing score on the test, because he knew he was most likely bullshitting all of it.

Once he finished, he set the paper down on the professor’s desk and rushed home in haste. It was late now, probably around 11 at night, and Yuu knew that Kouyou would most likely be sleeping. He made little to no noise when he stepped inside the apartment, and then made the attempt to walk to his room, but before he could do anything else, something caught his eye.

He noticed another pair of shoes near the front door, and an extra set of keys on the counter. Those shoes and keys were definitely not Kouyou’s; did the blonde have company over?

Yuu sighed, he got sudden jolts of jealousy running through him, despite him being so tired. Who could it be though? Kouyou only had about two different guys who would visit him and spend the night. Yuu brushed it off and walked back to his room, but then he noticed that Kouyou’s door was open and of course, curiosity killed the cat, Yuu couldn’t help but peer inside.

Anger began rushing through him once more, he felt enraged when he noticed the other head of blonde hair that belonged to Akira sleeping next to Kouyou. It took all of Yuu to not barge inside and beat the sleeping man into a coma, he apparently came over just so he could get some and then figured, why not just spend the rest of the night here?

Yuu knew that he really had no reason to get upset, he couldn’t dictate how Kouyou lived his life, but either way he felt angry inside. He knew that the bastard hadn’t changed, he was just too afraid to lose Kouyou.

Yuu went inside his room and face planted on his bed, he didn’t even bother changing out of his work clothes, he just needed rest. But he knew he was going to have yet another sleepless night because of the jealously and anger that began devouring him the moment he walked through those doors. Why couldn’t he just stop caring? At least for a little bit.


	3. Chapter Three

“Good morning babe.” The other blonde whispered as he leaned forward and kissed Kouyou’s cheek, receiving a dirty look from the other in return.

“Why are you greeting me?” Kouyou asked as he got up, he pushed the other away, showing the lowest form of interest conceivable. “I had a great time with you yesterday,’ the other replied, “you’re still as wonderful in bed as ever.”

“Akira knock it off.” Kouyou retorted, he slipped his robe on and looked out the window. The entire city was covered in endless mounds of white; all that Kouyou could see in the distance were immaculate sheets of snow piled on top of each other. Surely, he wasn’t going to go to work, not in these conditions.

“Don’t pretend like you didn’t like it Kouyou.” Akira exclaimed haughtily, “I saw your face while I fucked you, you fucking loved it.” Kouyou’s insides turned in pure abhorrence, he had no desire in him to even see this pitiable man, not after the night he was forced to spend with him.

He hated him, he hated him for everything he had done to him in the past, he wanted to never direct another word to him again, but sadly Akira was the son of the man that ‘owned’ Kouyou’s contract. One negative comment from Akira or one complain, and Kouyou’s job could be terminated.

“Looks like you’re not going to be leaving this apartment anytime soon…” Akira said in a cocky way, “you’ll be in bed with me all day, right?” Kouyou didn’t want to do that, he wanted to leave, and not be in the house, especially not with that douche bag.

What about Yuu? Was he really about to put him through hell again and let him listen to them as they had sex over and over? Kouyou hated the way he had become a slave to his job, he despised it.

“You owe me big time Kouyou,” Akira began, “I let you blow me off for the longest time, just so you could get over yourself and the fact that I was sleeping with other hot bitches. I had to spend so much money on you just so I could get you to speak to me again, I didn’t have to do any of that.”

“Well why did you? if you’re so sick of this, why not just call your dad right now and tell him to fire me?” Kouyou spat out angrily, “I don’t want to feel like I’m your fucking slave, Akira.”

The other stood up and walked over to Kouyou, his hand tracing the side of his face tenderly, “I don’t want there to be any hostility between us Kouyou, you know I care about you, right? After all, I still forgive what you put me through.”

Kouyou’s face turned into a disgusted frown as he pushed him roughly away, “What _I_ put you through? You’re joking, right? You fucking cheated on me, after you made me believe that I was in love with you. Then you come around saying that it’s all my fault? Fuck you, you repulsive pig!”

Akira stood baffled before Kouyou; he couldn’t believe the words coming out of his mouth. “Me? A Pig? I’m sorry Kouyou but since when are you a saint? You have sex with countless men for extra money and then on top of that, you fuck even more guys and have some sick perv video tape it. I just do it just so I can fuck hot bitches, and lucky for you, you got to be one of those hot bitches. But that doesn’t take away from the fact that you do things unimaginable for money. I’m loaded, I don’t need the extra cash, but you apparently do. Tell me, how many times have you slept with my father again?”

A hand went flying across Akira’s face, leaving a bright red mark on his cheek. “You are the vilest human being I have ever met Akira. I don’t give a flying fuck what you do with my career, call your dad, and do whatever you want to do. I don’t care anymore. But get the hell out of my house, you disgust me.” Kouyou was fuming at this point, devoid of any care.

Akira smiled arrogantly, and without saying a word he got his clothes and walked out of Kouyou’s room. Kouyou began to cry, tears streaming down his face endlessly as Akira’s cold words hit him exactly where it hurt. How dare he even wonder in that territory? It was Kouyou’s life, not his, why did it even concern him? Kouyou already hated himself enough as it was, he didn’t need reminders from an egotistical jerk who only ever wanted him for his pretty face, Kouyou hated the world he had gotten himself into, he didn’t belong there.

He wanted to go get a real job, and attend school with Yuu, to have a real relationship with another human being, not just sloppy hookups. Kouyou never really discussed his job with Yuu because he knew that he’d never really be fully telling the truth.

Aside from doing videos, Kouyou also slept with almost everyone in the agency, from the CEO to the photographers, everyone had at least gotten a kiss from the blonde in the past. That’s what explained all the money he made, he did it because he got addicted to the money, the greed consumed him wholly, and soon he didn’t even care what he did, just as long as he made extra cash he was happy.

But Kouyou didn’t want to see the truth, the reality of what he was doing. He was blinded entirely by the interminable four walls he built all by himself over the years. He was merely trapped in a realm of lies and greed, slowly poisoning his mind and body by remaining in a world as lecherous as the one he currently resided in. Kouyou was addicted to the idea that he could have anything he wanted because the boss liked him the best, because the boss chose him as his favorite; he was everything the boss wanted and lusted after.

Kouyou didn’t care who got hurt in the process, all he wanted was to know he could do anything because he had the power to do so.

Kouyou’s sobbing was suddenly stifled when a loud bang was heard from the entrance to his apartment. He got up quickly and rushed to see what had happened, Akira the bastard had pushed an old frame down, and it shattered as soon as it hit the wooden floors.

Kouyou wanted to shout at him, to curse him, but before he could, Akira slammed the door shut. The blonde rushed over to the pieces of the frame and realized it was a picture of him and Yuu, a picture that was taken years ago.

Kouyou began crying again, he saw the beautiful smiles on both his and Yuu’s faces, neither of them smiled like that anymore. Kouyou held the picture close to him, then he turned it around and noticed words on the back. He read them out loud...

“Best friends until the end of time. Your smile always makes me smile, I adore you my angel. _Forever_ , Yuu.”

“Kouyou! What happened?!” Yuu exclaimed as he came running towards him, the blonde looked up at him, his eyes swollen and red, the picture clutched tightly to his chest. “N-Nothing…” Kouyou replied lowly, he continued crying, feeling like the biggest piece of shit ever.

“What’s wrong? What happened to our picture?” Yuu asked worriedly, he knelt down beside Kouyou and hugged him. “I-I’m stupid, and I dropped it.” Kouyou answered, he didn’t want to tell him who really did it.

“That’s no reason to cry,” Yuu shook his head and grabbed the picture from Kouyou’s hands and helped him get up. “The picture is fine; we just need to find another frame for it.”

But that wasn’t what had made Kouyou upset, he was sad because he missed what he saw in the picture. He missed the smiles, the closeness they used to have, he felt stupid for throwing it all away over a life he didn’t even like.

But he had no way of escaping, Kouyou hoped that Akira had gone through with his plan and that perhaps the next day Kouyou would be jobless yet again.

*****

“I guess you’re staying home?” Yuu asked Kouyou as he handed him a hot cup of coffee. “I guess I am.” Kouyou replied, he took a sip of his drink, the hot liquid burning his full lips at once. “They can’t hold it against me though; I’m not risking my life.”

Yuu nodded in agreement, “Yes, you’re not going out there right now. I wouldn’t let you, your safety is more important.” Kouyou smiled, he loved an overprotective Yuu, and it made him realize just how much Yuu cared about him.

Kouyou you stupid idiot, why can’t you just tell Yuu how you really feel about him?

He truly didn’t want to ruin the friendship he had made with Yuu, it was too precious to him, if the day ever came when Kouyou decided to tell Yuu his real feelings, he was aware that in that instant he’d either lose his best friend forever, or perhaps get the same feelings in return. Kouyou doubted it; he knew for a fact Yuu didn’t like him like that, and he probably never would. Kouyou knew that he was one of Yuu’s main priorities, Yuu had told him on various occasions how he would always be there for him, but he thought that Yuu would never see him as a 'significant other'; someone whom he’d want to be with both physically and emotionally. Yuu was a nice guy, he deserved something better than Kouyou, or at least that’s what Kouyou made himself believe.

“Well, I guess we’re staying home together then!” Yuu announced happily as he picked up their plates, he set them down in the sink having absolutely no desire to do any dishes, especially not so early in the morning.

“Why don’t we go get cozy on the couch and watch a movie?” Yuu asked as he stared at Kouyou, noticing instantly that there was something wrong with him; Kouyou wasn’t saying a word back to him. “Are you alright Kou?” he asked.

The blonde turned his head slightly and nodded, “I-I’m fine, I’m just tired. You go ahead Yuu, I’m just going to go lay down.” And without saying another word, Kouyou stood up and walked back into his room.

Yuu was completely baffled, Kouyou seldom denied a movie on the couch, he looked distant the whole time while they ate breakfast, he didn’t even seem to be awake, he was acting much like a zombie.

He didn’t even bother to ask Kouyou about Akira and his whereabouts. He wasn’t dumb, he knew what had really happened, he could hear Kouyou and Akira arguing from the other room, and it was too obvious that the squabble made Kouyou upset.

Either way, Yuu sighed out loudly, another sign of him growing extremely weary of the blonde. How long was he going to be left confused and dazed? He felt like his relationship with Kouyou had taken a turn for the worst and they were both standing in a pond of murky water, and each day that passed they both sunk lower and lower until they both became barely visible.

Yuu knew that sooner or later, he was going to have to get the balls to say something to Kouyou, that or live a life full of doubt and perplexity.

*************************************

Yet another insignificant week dragged on by. A week that left Yuu with nothing else to say, each day that dragged by just began convincing him that worrying so much wasn’t going to get him anywhere, he needed to stop and just enjoy the little amount of attention Kouyou gave him.

He needed to focus on himself, and his birthday, he at least wanted to enjoy that day, especially because he was secretly excited for the surprise Kouyou had planned for him.

“Just one more night!” Kouyou shouted excitedly as he brushed his teeth, he splashed water and toothpaste all over the sink, making a mess that Yuu was bound to clean up later. “One more sleep until your birthday, I’m starting to believe that I’m more excited than you.”

Yuu laughed whole-heartedly, “I swear I’m happy Kou, it’s just a lot to take in. This is the first year I’m spending my birthday without my family. It sucks how they couldn’t come down this year.” He left his comfortable position on his bed, and walked over to the bathroom that was located right in front of his bedroom.

“So…” he began while he stared at Kouyou, he crossed his arms across his chest and shot the blonde an inquisitive look. “What’s the big surprise for tomorrow?”

Kouyou spat out the mixture of toothpaste and mouthwash in the sink and giggled, “Like I’m actually going to tell you! You’re going to have to wait mister!” he smirked up at Yuu and walked into Yuu’s room. Yuu followed close behind him and watched as Kouyou spread himself on his full-sized bed, he was so tempted to sit next to him and run his hands up the uncovered flesh that lay beneath Kouyou’s shirt.

He always had admired how angelical Kouyou was, his skin so much like porcelain and his hair so golden blonde, he never understood how a human could be that perfect.

“Your bed always smells nice,” Kouyou commented as he dug his nose in Yuu’s pillow, “and your sheets always look impeccable. They’re so crisp and so…blue.” Yuu was slightly amused by Kouyou’s sudden comments on his cleanliness; he just liked to keep everything tidy.

“I hardly ever go in your room and inspect your sheets,” Yuu said with a roguish smile.

“Oh trust me, you really don’t want to.” Kouyou replied, “They're dirty. That’s why I don’t invite you. I’m not trying to hide anything, you just wouldn’t like it.”

That’s where he was wrong, Yuu would give anything to curl up with Kouyou in his bed and just feel his skin pressed against his, their bodies so close they'd slowly become one, and his nose digging through the ambrosial locks of Kouyou’s honey blonde hair.

“Come on Kou let’s get to bed,” Yuu blurted out, “I’m tired. I got my test back today and I had to stay late and correct all the errors I made.” He really didn’t want Kouyou to leave, he wanted him to stay and keep him warm all night.

“Okay Yuu-chan!” Kouyou sat up, his pajama shorts riding up his thighs in the most delicious manner; it almost made it unbearable for Yuu to watch. “Good night.” Kouyou caught Yuu in an unexpected hug and whispered a ‘happy birthday’ almost sensually in his ear.

That night Yuu got absolutely no sleep. He was up tossing and turning, feeling Kouyou on his skin, the tingling sensation of Kouyou’s cool breath against his ear made it hard for him to close his eyes. Yuu just wanted a little touch from the other, just a slight touch. He needed him at that very second there to just hold him, to show him a sign of affection. Yuu wanted nothing else but that, he was lusting after his best friend, and yet he felt no shame or weirdness.

Before Yuu even knew it his hand was traveling under his pajama pants and subconsciously grabbing a hold of his already hardened cock. He began to stroke it while his eyes remained closed, he could picture nothing else but Kouyou vividly in his mind. And how badly he wanted him, how badly he wanted to ravage him and have him writhing under his fingertips. Yuu knew very well that he could satisfy Kouyou sexually better than any of the men he’d ever been with in the past. Though Yuu had only ever been with women, he knew he could handle being intimate with Kouyou. He knew he could be both gentle and rough, he knew Kouyou liked both.

He’d seen many of his movies in the past, yet he never told Kouyou he did because he didn’t want to ‘creep’ him out. Yuu continued to silently pleasure himself under the covers, his hand moving fast up and down his shaft while his lips moaned Kouyou’s name softly. He kept doing this until he reached his climax, then he grabbed the pillow that Kouyou had lain on and cuddled it. He could still faintly smell Kouyou’s cologne on it, and the mere scent of his best friend helped him fall sleep, that and the fact he has just released a lot of stress and tension from his body.

************************************************************************

The following morning Yuu got up feeling rather groggy due to the fact he had gone to sleep around 5am, and it was now currently 10am. But thankfully it was a Saturday so he didn’t have to worry about school and since it was his birthday; his boss actually gave him the day off. He was going to spend a lovely day with his best friend and have a nice dinner at the end, no worries just relaxation.

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!! HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY YUU-CHAN!” A happy Kouyou sang as he walked through Yuu’s room carrying a small fruit tart with a candle on it. “Make a wish!” Yuu smiled wide as he sat up, he saw that the tart had a small ‘happy birthday Yuu’ decoration on it and it made him happy that Kouyou had actually gone through the trouble of getting him this.

"Kou thank you so much!” he closed his eyes and blew out the candle. Kouyou squealed and set the tart down, “Congratulations!” he sat next to Yuu on his bed and wrapped his arms around his neck pulling him in for yet another hug. Though at first Yuu thought he was going to get perhaps a kiss, but a hug would suffice.

“Wow Kouyou, this means so much to me, really. You’re the best.” Kouyou ruffled Yuu’s already messy hair and smiled, “Anything for my best friend on his special day! Come now, I made you breakfast!”

And Yuu thought his day couldn’t get any better, his little angel had actually cooked for him. “I made pancakes, and eggs, and whatever this mushy stuff is.” Kouyou said as they walked to the kitchen.

“That would be oatmeal Kou.” Yuu corrected him, “everything looks really yummy!” Kouyou pressed his hands together and smiled, “You really think so?! I’m just happy I didn’t burn the apartment building down.” Yuu chuckled and helped the blonde bring everything to the table.

“So is this the big surprise?” he asked as he sat down. “No!” Kouyou exclaimed, “This isn’t even the beginning of what I have planned for you today.”

That made Yuu anxious, he wasn’t used to all the attention he was getting, especially because Kouyou had been so distant lately, he thought perhaps it was one of his mood swings, he had those a bit too often.

“We’re going to have an amazing day together!” Kouyou added, “You’re 28 now Yuu, almost 30!” Yuu felt a little uneasy, he was indeed getting old and soon he’d be too old to find love, he didn’t want to end up all alone, but he didn’t want to fall for the wrong girl…or guy.

************************************************************************

“So where are we going for dinner again?” Kouyou asked as he got his coat from the coatroom, “Didn’t we decide on that small Italian restaurant in Shinjuku?” Yuu answered, “We both agreed to go there, remember?”

Kouyou nodded, “That’s right! I was just making sure.” He slipped his gloves on and began to head out the door.

“Geez Kouyou, you don’t wait for anyone, do you?” Yuu called out as he zipped his jacket up and closed the apartment door. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” Kouyou said bashfully, “I guess I’m just eager.”

Yuu and Kouyou got on the elevator and headed downstairs, they didn’t really have a game plan they were just going to go to Shibuya and walk around, maybe get some coffee and go look at clothes. They never decided on anything special to do during the day, only at nighttime. Kouyou had a special surprise for Yuu. They weren’t really going to go to the Italian restaurant, Kouyou made reservations at one of the fanciest restaurants in Tokyo, and he thought it would be the best surprise for Yuu, especially because it was super exclusive and the food was phenomenal.

“It is freezing in here…” Kouyou complained as he sat in Yuu’s car, his slender body shaking and his teeth clattering. “I really fucking hate winter.”

Yuu gasped jokingly, “My my Kouyou! That foul language!” Kouyou rolled his eyes and playfully slapped Yuu’s arm, “oh whatever, you curse too!” Once the car finally heated up, Yuu pulled out of their parking spot and headed towards the bullet train station. They figured that they might as well just use the train to get from place to place; it was pointless to drag the car around. They would spend more time trying to get parking than actually being out and about.

“I’m excited to finally get you all to myself.” Yuu said, “It feels like it’s been awhile.”

Kouyou sighed, “I know Yuu and I’m sorry. I’ve just been so busy at work, they work me like a slave.” Yuu frowned at that, especially because he knew the type of slave he was, just hearing Kouyou talk about ‘work’ angered Yuu, that’s why he always tried to avoid mentioning work to Kouyou.

“But today is all about us.” Kouyou added cheerfully, “but most importantly, it’s all about you birthday boy!” That made Yuu smile, he knew that Kouyou ever only meant well.

Yuu and Kouyou walked around Shibuya on what was perhaps one of the most tranquil days in the boisterous city they lived in. It was odd, especially because everyone would usually go out on Saturdays to shop and stroll through the busy streets, but on that day there was hardly anyone wondering around.

It made Yuu really happy, and made him value the time he was getting to spend with his best friend; he’d finally take his time looking at clothes and he’d be able to pick out something nice to wear for dinner. Since it was his birthday he figured why not splurge a little and get himself a nice gift? He deserved it nonetheless.

“I need to go here real quick," Kouyou announced nonchalantly as he pointed towards a small shop. He began fast walking towards it, dragging Yuu along.

“What’s in there?” Yuu enquired, “It looks dark.”

Kouyou giggled to himself, “that’s because it’s a ‘sex’ shop Yuu.”

Yuu’s eyes widened, he’d never set foot in a sex shop before, he had no reason to go to one, but having a sex crazed friend like Kouyou gave him at least one reason to go.

“Why are we going in there?” Yuu asked. He really didn’t know why of all days Kouyou had to go buy a new vibrator today, or at least that’s what he thought.

“Because,” Kouyou began, “I need to look at something real quick; I swear it will be fast.”

Yuu sighed loudly, “Okay…” he stepped inside the small store, noticing just how empty it really was, he guessed that not a lot of people had the courage to actually go out and buy ‘intimate’ things, they would rather do it online where it was more private.

Yuu walked around looking at the variety of different things they had. Colorful toys, different movies arranged in shelves, sexy lingerie in every corner. This was Kouyou’s world indeed, an area where he felt a faux sense of safety.

Yuu was too busy letting his inner man come out as he browsed through the porn magazines to even realize that Kouyou was nowhere to be found. He flipped through the magazines seeing all the scantily clad dressed models and honestly, it did little to nothing for him. It had been a while since he had felt aroused, the only real source or arousal being..

Despite Kouyou being his main source or arousal, he couldn't help but imagine what it would be like if he had the chance to have Kouyou like the models in the magazines, sure he watched all his movies and pleasured himself, but he wanted to know what it would be like if he could be the source of his moans. Yuu didn’t like to admit it, but he was most definitely gay or perhaps his sexuality was still evolving, however he always coldly rejected women when they’d try and ask him out. He hardly felt anything when he’d see a woman wearing a tight fitting top, he didn’t even get slightly turned on when he’d see women whose breasts looked ready to pop out of their shirts, it just didn’t arouse him like it used to.

“Okay, I’m done!” Kouyou suddenly said as he appeared next to Yuu. Yuu dropped the magazine abruptly and turned to face Kouyou, giving him yet another questioning look.

“What did you go and do?” he asked, but Kouyou simply looked away and sighed. “Let’s just get out of here, it reminds me of work, and I don’t really want to think about that right now.”

Yuu was puzzled, but let it go. “Alright, so where do you want to go? We can go to that one store that always has good sales.” Kouyou nodded at Yuu’s words a bit distraughtly, “Yeah, sure, let’s go there!” he grabbed Yuu’s arm and then headed towards the exit.

“It’s such a nice day too! I didn’t expect today to be so pretty.” Yuu said as he sipped on his frappuchino, they had stopped at a nearby coffee shop to get some drinks before they went shopping. “I’m glad you took today off," Yuu said. Kouyou smiled as he sipped on his latte, he subconsciously grabbed Yuu’s free hand and stroked it tenderly. “I wasn’t about to work on my best friend’s birthday, that would make me a terrible person.”

Yuu half-smiled, he could see the pure untainted sincerity in Kouyou’s eyes, that small glint that let him know everything was alright, but what he could also see was that there was something troubling the blonde, something small, but something that could perhaps become a problem in the future. He looked past that and reminded himself that today was a day to not worry about anything and spend it as stress free as possible, however, his mouth and heart were not in the mood to cooperate with his brain.

“Kouyou, please tell me…” Yuu began softly, immediately regretting what he was going to ask, “what’s behind those pretty brown eyes of yours? What is something you know that I don’t?”

Kouyou’s irises widened, he let go of Yuu’s hand and suddenly began to look a bit nervous. “W-What do you mean?” he asked hesitantly, “You know me Yuu, there really isn’t much.”

But Yuu kept insisting, “You know exactly what Kou. I just d-don’t know if I still know you like I used to, we don’t spend that much time together anymore.” That caught Kouyou off guard; he cleared his throat, getting seemingly uncomfortable with the conversation. “I don’t want things to change between us.” He whispered, “I don’t like to think that they did. If I could spend more time with you, you know I would. But I’m always busy and I’m sorry.”

Yuu sighed; he knew that Kouyou was going to do the impossible to make himself look like the victim in the situation. “I’m busy too Kou.” He replied, “I just don’t think that ‘work’ should be an excuse. You and I used to be so close, and now we pretend to act like we’re best friends, when in reality things aren’t like that anymore.” Yuu felt himself ranting, he knew he was pouring out his entire heart and truthfully he didn’t care about the outcome, he needed to tell Kouyou what was bothering him.

“I still consider you my best friend Yuu.” Kouyou retorted, “I do everything I can to try and make you happy, is that not enough for you?”

“I know you do,” Yuu said, “I appreciate everything you do for me. It’s just that something pulls at my heart strings and tells me that you and I aren’t what we used to be.”

“Well then there’s nothing else can do! I do all I can to make this work, to make our friendship work, and then everything that’s formed in between. I care about you Yuu; I sincerely don’t know why you can’t see that.” Kouyou stood up and went to throw his coffee out, and then he stepped outside momentarily to have a much needed smoke.

Yuu sighed exasperatedly, hating himself a bit for having the worst time to bring up shit like that, he knew that in a way he was perhaps being selfish, because Kouyou didn’t have to do everything he did, they weren’t anything.

Yuu just missed the times when he’d spend every waking second with Kouyou, when life wasn’t hectic and when things didn’t suddenly go wrong and destroyed every palpable dream he ever had. He still cared about his best friend, probably more than he cared about himself. He just needed clarity in his life; he couldn’t continue to live the life he was living, always confused and sad. Yuu needed to find happiness, and if that happiness wasn’t with Kouyou, then he’d have to make the sacrifice of letting Kouyou go, and that was something he didn’t want to do.

“Kou?” Yuu asked as he stepped outside to join his friend, “Listen Kou, I’m sorry, alright? I didn’t mean to put you on the spot like that. I care about you, truly and with all my heart. I guess sometimes I get a little too carried away.”

Kouyou inhaled the poisonous smoke and then exhaled, letting the fumes linger around his face for a moment. “It’s alright Yuu. You’re the only person I have in my life. The only one I care about and I don’t want to lose you.” Kouyou wiped an incoming tear from his eye and turned to hug Yuu. Yuu wrapped his arms protectively around Kouyou, and rested his chin on the luscious head of blonde hair that always smelled like freshly picked strawberries.

_“I love you.”_ Yuu whispered lowly, so inaudible that Kouyou didn’t hear him say it.

“I don’t mean to ruin your day by crying.” Kouyou suddenly said, he sniffled a little bit and wiped his nose. “Let’s continue on with our day, okay?”

Yuu lightly frowned, he had mustered the courage to say ‘I love you’ to Kouyou, but his nerves didn’t allow him to do it louder.

Albeit their close friendship, the word love wasn't something they threw around often. It was a word that had been uttered mostly in their youth, a word that had a different meaning than the love that Yuu wanted to confess.

The rest of their day was just as they had planned. They walked around, bought a few things, shared plenty of laughs and rekindled the friendship they both had become strangers to. Kouyou realized how lucky he was to have a friend as wonderful as Yuu, he wanted nothing more but to make sure he never did anything to jeopardize their friendship.

Even if they only remained friends, that by itself was precious enough for Kouyou. Despite the small interrogation at the coffee shop earlier, Kouyou was glad Yuu didn’t ask him anything about where he ran off to at the sex store. He really didn’t want to lie to Yuu yet again.

Coincidentally, the owner of the store just so happened to be one of the few men that Kouyou made ‘house calls’ to, thanks to him Kouyou was able to get the reservations at the lush restaurant for Yuu’s birthday. Kouyou had been relying a lot on this man to give him money because every paycheck Kouyou got in the mail from his job had to go to his family, this happened because unfortunately his mother had been hospitalized, and no one in Kouyou’s family had enough money for the hospital bills, and him being the only one with a high paying job, volunteered to give his family every last cent. He knew he didn't have to do this, hell, his family hated him it seemed, but Kouyou knew he needed to help his family.

Of course, this didn’t come cheap for the man, and especially not for Kouyou. He had done things unimaginable to him, and it only made him cringe to think that he had to see his face yet again.

Kouyou went inside the man’s office just wanting to get his money, but of course the other wanted a little something extra.

“Kouyou…it’s so nice to see you again.” He said to the blonde as he stepped inside his office, he walked over to Kouyou and ran his hand down his cheek softly, “I’ve missed you beautiful.”

Kouyou swallowed hard and tried as hard as he could to just ignore the man’s vile words. “C-Can I please get my cash?” he finally let out, “I-I need to go.”

The man smirked and went back to his desk, he pulled out a large wad of cash from his cabinet and handed it to Kouyou, but before Kouyou could take it, the man grabbed him forcefully and pushed him against his desk.

Kouyou winced in pain as the edge of the hard wood table struck him painfully on the back, yet the man didn’t care, he continued to run his filthy hands down Kouyou’s chest, kissing and sucking at the flesh on Kouyou’s neck.

Kouyou wanted to push him away, he wanted to scream and cry for Yuu’s help, but this was all on him. He had to deal with the pain and the humiliation; this was the life he chose to live.

Once the disgusting man finished touching and kissing Kouyou, he let him go. “Hope to see you soon darling.”

Kouyou’s body trembled in fear, his lips quivering and bright red from the needy mouth that had just attacked them. He moved slowly towards the door, his hands shaking as they grasped the handle, but before he left he couldn’t help but notice a family portrait resting near the window, if only his family knew what kind of sick pig he was, Kouyou thought to himself.

He practically rushed out of there, not looking back once, and when he got back to Yuu, he straightened himself out, not letting the throbbing pain in his lower back get to him. Kouyou could still feel the bastard’s hands running down his torso, and the unpleasant taste of cigar on his taste buds. He had to put on his scarf in order to cover the bright red marks on his neck; he just hoped Yuu wouldn’t see them until they faded.

He knew how overprotective Yuu was, and the marks looked like someone had attacked Kouyou with claws, the milky skin of his neck had been basically torn apart, he could feel the open wound stinging against the material of the scarf. Kouyou didn’t know how long he was going to do be able to do this, at first he found it thrilling and fun, but as time passed, it began to take an emotional and physical toll on him.


	4. Chapter Four

An endless ocean of daffodils, violets, and chrysanthemums, that’s all Kouyou could see in the distance. He began walking north, the only path that seemed right at that precise time; he followed the colorful flowers that were all so familiar to him.

He remembered that those were the exact same flowers that grew in his garden when he lived in Mie.

Kouyou bent down and picked up a daffodil, he let the scintillating yellow petals tickle the tip of his nose, his entire childhood flashed before his eyes, images he’d never seen before, memories he thought he’d forgotten, everything was coming back to him. Just then, Kouyou dropped the flower abruptly, and noticed a figure walking towards him.

He stood up and tried to decipher who it could be, he walked closer and closer to it until he realized that it was Yuu. Kouyou’s face lit up, he began calling out Yuu’s name, trying to get his attention, but Yuu kept walking as if there was no one there.

Kouyou began to run towards Yuu until they were mere feet away; Yuu stopped moving and faced Kouyou, a resplendent smile rested on his face. He had on a loose fitting white tunic with crème colored pants, and his hair was down, and flowing with the gentle breeze, he looked almost angelic.

Kouyou was puzzled, usually Yuu was more expressive, if anything he would be running towards Kouyou right now to hug him or something, but he just stood there, not moving or even breathing for that matter. Kouyou took a step forward, his hand reaching out to touch Yuu, but it was like trying to catch a cloud.

Each step that Kouyou took made Yuu vanish more and more until he was entirely gone, Kouyou began screaming his name as loud as he could.

“Yuu! Yuu! Where are you? Please come back! Yuu!” but it was too late, he was completely gone.

“Kou…we’re almost home, wake up.” Yuu’s voice spoke softly, Kouyou opened his eyes and blinked twice, it was only a dream. They were on the train back home now, and apparently Kouyou had gotten a bit tired and completely dozed off. He tried to remember his dream, but all he could remember were the flowers and seeing Yuu’s face, he couldn’t remember anything else, but he did however, recall losing sight of Yuu at one point. That was perhaps his biggest fear, losing his best friend again. He had done it in the past; he really didn’t need to go through that again.

“How long was I out for?” Kouyou asked as he yawned, he rested his head on the usual spot on Yuu’s shoulder. “Ten minutes, maybe.” Yuu replied, “You were tired, I guess it’s fair. We have been up since 9am.”

“I’m sorry.” Kouyou whispered, “For what?”

Yuu retorted, “For being tired?”

“For not keeping you company, I’m sorry Yuu.”

Once the train came to a complete stop, both men stepped out and began walking towards the parking lot. It was already dark outside, and extremely cold, Yuu was glad he had gotten himself a new pair of gloves; he was really going to need them if they were going to go out again.

“So what time are we leaving for dinner?” Yuu asked as they walked towards the car.

“Whenever you’re hungry, but I’d like to leave the house before eight.” Kouyou answered as they got inside Yuu's car, he quickly turned it on to let the heat ventilate the vehicle. “Well its six now, and I’m a little hungry.” Yuu added.

“We can go home and change if you'd like and then we’ll get ready and leave. Sound good?” Kouyou said affirmatively.

Yuu chuckled slightly, “Alright captain, I got you.”

Luckily there was zero traffic on the way home from the train station, so they managed to get back home rather quickly. As soon as they walked through the door, Kouyou rushed to the bathroom, and Yuu, as always, rushed to the kitchen.

He was starving, but didn’t want to ruin his appetite, because he knew that a grand Italian dinner awaited him. He could already taste the delicious spaghetti in wine sauce, and the colossal meat balls that he loved so much. He couldn’t wait to go eat, that’s all he usually thought about, food, that and Kouyou.

“Are you going to wear your new jacket today?” Kouyou asked Yuu as he stepped outside of the bathroom, “I think it’ll look nice with the jeans you’re wearing.”

Yuu smiled, he was excited to wear the new items he had purchased, the new gloves and leather jacket, it was definitely something he’d never thought of buying before, but Kouyou persuaded him into buying it, he was skeptical about it because the collar had small spikes on it, it was a bit much for him, but either way he liked it, it was something new indeed.

Yuu bent down to pick up his bags from the ground, and sighed a bit loudly, exposing his mouth, in that instant Kouyou noticed something rather shiny peeking from the tip of Yuu’s mouth, his eyes widened in bewilderment, he bent down and grabbed Yuu’s hand forcefully pulling him up in front of him.

“What is that?” Kouyou asked in amazement as he pointed at the brunette’s mouth, Yuu knew exactly what he was talking about, but he teasingly sealed his lips.

“W-What?” he mumbled, “I’m hiding nothing.”

Kouyou’s eyebrows furrowed “Stop it Yuu! Let me see!”

Yuu chuckled, and stuck his tongue out, and right near the middle he had a brand new glimmering silver piercing.

“YOU DIDN’T!” Kouyou exclaimed, he smiled wide and hugged Yuu tightly. “It looks amazing! I love it Yuu!”

Yuu couldn’t help but laugh out loudly, “I got it done yesterday when you were sleeping, and I tried so hard to hide it from you. I was going to show you at dinner, but I guess you caught me.”

Kouyou slightly pouted, “Hm, well it looks fantastic on you!! I can't believe I didn't notice it! It's a wonderful addition...maybe one day you'll dye your hair a fun color to match your inner personality?”

Yuu smiled wide, "Hmm...maybe..." Yuu dressed and acted rather conservative, despite him having piercings on his belly, ears, and now his tongue. “I do enjoy being mysterious though,” Yuu retorted slyly.

***********************

The night had turned colder and darker now; the low temperatures forced Kouyou and Yuu to huddle closer while walking down the street towards the restaurant. They looked like an adorable couple walking so close together, anyone walking near them would’ve mistaken them for an item. But both of them were too caught up in a web of denial and obliviousness to even realize that they even looked like they belonged together.

“Kou, why are we taking the long way to the restaurant? We always go that way.” Yuu said as he pointed towards the street behind them, Kouyou smiled, his pearly white teeth brightening his face instantly in the obscure night. “Just follow me, okay? We’ll get there faster.”

Yuu shrugged, he knew trying to get information from Kouyou was like pulling teeth, the less he tried, the better.

After walking a little further down the street, Yuu was beginning to get skeptical. He stopped Kouyou and looked at him dead in the eye, “Okay, we are lost. Let’s just go back that way!” he insisted, but Kouyou wasn’t giving in. “Dammit Yuu, just follow me, we’re almost there!” Kouyou exclaimed desperately.

Yuu sighed exasperatedly, but followed the blonde nonetheless. Once the street came to a dead end, Yuu realized exactly where they were at. It was the block of fancy restaurants, the place he never dared to step foot in because he knew he couldn’t afford it.

“Kou? Why are we here? “Yuu asked, “We can’t afford this.” Kouyou simply laughed roguishly, “But tonight, we can. Surprise Yuu! I made reservations for you at this restaurant, the one you’ve been dying to go to! Happy Birthday!”

Yuu’s mouth dropped slightly, he wanted to pick Kouyou up and kiss him passionately and tell him thank you a thousand more times, but that would perhaps be a little too much. “Kouyou, I cannot believe this! Thank you!” That was weak, Yuu thought to himself, _if only I could show him just how thankful I really am._

As soon as they walked into the exclusive restaurant, it was like the people there knew them already. One of the hostesses approached them and bowed politely, “Mr. Takashima?" she asked, Kouyou nodded and bowed, "This way please!” Kouyou smiled proudly, and grabbed Yuu’s hand.

“I got the VIP area, just for us!” That made Yuu even more excited, he didn’t know how Kouyou could afford a place that charged $100 for an appetizer, but he was glad that this was the grand surprise, he couldn’t ask for anything more.

“What will you two gentlemen be drinking tonight?” A different waiter asked them as they sat down at their table.

“A bottle of your finest red wine, please.” Kouyou instructed, “And a bottle of Moet and Chandon.”

The waiter nodded, and bowed as he walked back towards the bar. The place was definitely adequate for all the praise it received. just the inside was absolutely breathtaking. Yuu had never seen a place quite like it, so elegant yet modern, it was everything he had dreamt of, and then some. Every artificial light studded window was decorated with silky curtains in a deep burgundy color, and the walls were painted a cool cerulean color, it gave the place a wonderful and positive vibe.

“I couldn’t ask for a better birthday gift Kou, thank you from the bottom of my heart.” Yuu said quietly as he gave Kouyou an endearing look.

“I’m glad you like it so far,” Kouyou replied, “I like to see you happy.”

In a matter of minutes the waiter returned with their wine, and chilled champagne. He poured them both a glass, and then left the bottle on the table. “Do you gentlemen know what you’d like to get?” he asked as he pulled out a notepad from his back pocket.

“I-I haven’t really looked through the menu…” Yuu replied hesitantly. “Don't worry, I got this," Kouyou began, "I think we'll start with the fried calamari to begin with, and I’d like the filet mignon accompanied by char grilled salmon, thank you.” He handed the waiter the menu back, leaving Yuu completely baffled, since when was Kouyou so educated in fine dining?

“I’ll come back for your order sir.” The waiter said, and then he took off towards the kitchen.

“Wow Kou, I’m impressed.” Yuu laughed, “Have you been here before?”

Kouyou blushed lightly and nodded, “Once! And I was so impressed with their food and service, I’m really glad I brought you here.”

Yuu figured that a lot of older men with tons of money probably treated Kouyou to expensive dinners ever so often, it kind of made Yuu jealous, especially because he knew that his salary couldn’t afford a dinner like the one they were having. “I really don’t know what to order…” Yuu whispered shyly, “everything sounds good, but I’ve never heard of anything on the menu.”

Kouyou half smiled and grabbed the menu, “Get the braised pork loin, with the caramelized pears. It’s delicious!”

Yuu winced, “Braised pork? Caramelized pears? Are you sure?”

Kouyou nodded confidently, “Trust me Yuu-chan!”

“Okay, I guess I’m ready to order…” Yuu waited for the waiter to come back and take his order, he spoke almost as if he were unsure of everything, he felt a bit uncomfortable now, especially because Kouyou was so knowledgeable, and he wasn’t.

“I just hope I don’t get sick…” Yuu mumbled, and in return he got a playful slap on his shoulder, “You’re not! You’ll love it!” Kouyou said as he shot him a devious wink, “it's good to try new things, you never know what you might like..." 

Yuu gave him a curious look, one eyebrow raised in question. "You're probably right..."

Much to Yuu’s expectations, the service was fast. In a matter of minutes their meals were out and ready. And just how he imagined, the plates looked absolutely immaculate.

They were set up so intricately, Yuu was afraid to begin eating in fear of destroying the piece of art that lay before him. “Is this even edible?” Yuu commented, “It looks too good to eat.”

Kouyou giggled to himself as he began to eat his calamari, “I told you! Everything here is absolutely beautiful! And it tastes even better! Oh my God, taste this calamari!” Kouyou stabbed a bunch of fried squid and then shoved it in Yuu’s mouth. The other let the tangy and sweet flavor of the sauce linger on his tongue then he began chewing the tiny dead animals, “Wow, this is delicious!” he found himself grabbing his fork and eating more from Kouyou’s plate.

“I should’ve gotten this!” he added.

“There’s plenty for the both of us,” Kouyou said, “If not, we’ll just order more. You can get anything you want tonight.” _Yeah right, anything I want,_ Yuu thought to himself, if he really could get anything he wanted, he’d be devouring Kouyou’s face with fervent kisses right now instead of shoving squid down his throat.

“So, why did you decide to get your tongue pierced?” Kouyou asked inquisitively, “why not your lip?” Yuu took a large sip of his red wine and then set the half empty glass down.

“Well, I wanted to try something new, and I pierced my lip once when I was 16, and it wasn’t really all that great. I really wanted my tongue, and truth be told, it hurt. But it’s worth it, I think it looks good.”

Kouyou sipped on his Moet and smiled wide, “Your decision was wise my friend, it looks great on you.” Yuu stuck his tongue out once again, moving it teasingly up and down as the small silver ball glistened on his tongue. _I wonder what it feels like, God, I just want to shove my tongue down his throat, curse me for having these thoughts_ , Kouyou thought to himself.

“I see you really liked your food.” Kouyou said changing the subject; he peered down at Yuu’s almost empty plate.

“I loved it! I’m glad you recommended it!” Yuu exclaimed, he gently patted his belly, “It did fill me up. But I do have room for dessert!”

Kouyou grinned at that, “I’m glad you mentioned that, because I ordered us some delicious strawberry cheesecake, which is your favorite, right?”

Yuu sat up straight, his eyes growing wide in interest. “Oh did you now? I love cheesecake, especially with strawberries.” Kouyou nodded, “I figured you’d be happy with that.”

“Are you gentlemen done?” The waiter suddenly asked as he came walking towards them, “Would you like your dessert now Mr. Takashima?”

Kouyou nodded, “Yes please!” he handed him the two plates and waited for him to leave.

“Now don’t worry Yuu,” Kouyou began, “I didn’t tell them to come out here and start singing happy birthday to you, this is a five-star restaurant for a reason.”

Yuu sighed in relief, “Thank you, because I hate it when people do that! I get so awkward, and I don’t know what to do.”

“I do too, that’s why I never tell anyone when my birthday is. I think only you know…”

“Your dessert.” The waiter announced as he set the two plates down on the table, he bowed politely and then excused himself.

“Exactly how I expected it to look like, a fucking masterpiece,” Yuu said as he examined his plate, “this is absolutely beautiful!” the cheesecake was set on a fine piece of china, the border lined with a thin strip of gold and on top the cake had a crimson topping of fresh strawberries in a succulent marmalade. Yuu’s mouth was practically watering as he stared at the dessert.

“This cheesecake is the best one I’ve ever had, “Kouyou said, “you’ll love it!” Yuu grabbed his fork and took a huge chunk into his mouth. His pupils dilated as the euphoric taste of the cheesecake engulfed him. “I cannot believe how incredibly amazing this cheesecake is.” Yuu said almost seriously, he looked completely baffled.

“Happy Birthday again Yuu,” Kouyou said lowly, “you really deserved this dinner. You’re an amazing friend, thank you for everything.”

Yuu could feel himself grinning wide, he was so grateful for Kouyou, and for everything he did, despite him having his doubts he knew that Kouyou was indeed a wonderful person who deserved to have the world handed down to him on a silver platter.

“No Kouyou, Thank YOU for everything. You’re the best.” Yuu replied whole-heartedly, “you made today so special for me, thank you.”

It was around ten or eleven at night when both men left the restaurant, it was freezing outside as expected, and to top it all off, small white pellets were beginning to fall from the sky yet again. “I cannot believe it’s snowing again.” Kouyou observed as he walked cuddled next to Yuu, “I’m so glad my birthday’s in the summer.”

Yuu chuckled, “What is with you and loathing winter so much? It hasn’t done anything to you, jeez.” Kouyou playfully nudged Yuu on the side, “You know why Yuu! I hate the cold.” _But it does give me a reason to be physically closer to you,_ Kouyou added in his mind. “I just don’t like having so many layers on.” Kouyou replied, “You for one should know how much I hate clothes.” Yuu choked a little, a laugh and a gasp both getting caught in his throat.

“I guess…” he retorted nonchalantly, “I like wearing layers though. I like feeling warm.”

The blonde gingerly rung his arm around Yuu’s, their bodies pressed tightly together as they walked back to their apartment, “I guess I keep you warm, huh?” Kouyou whispered, all Yuu could do in return was nod. He couldn’t really say what was running through his mind at that precise moment.


	5. Chapter Five

“Home sweet home, thank goodness.” Kouyou announced happily as he stepped inside their toasty apartment, “I am going to get myself a cup of coffee, do you want anything?”

Yuu hung his coat in the coat hanger then walked into the kitchen, “Are you serious Kou? It’s almost midnight! Aren’t you tired?”

Kouyou blinked cutely at Yuu and shook his head, “I’m wide awake, and I don’t even know why.”

Yuu laughed, “It’s obviously because you slept on the train. But I’ll stay up with you, okay?”

Kouyou bounced up and down playfully on his tip toes, “Yay you’re staying up! Yay! So coffee?”

The brunette sighed as he succumbed to Kouyou’s adorableness, “Coffee would be fine…”

Yuu dragged his tired feet into his room, his body willing to give out any second, he wanted to sleep badly, but he didn’t want to leave a hyper Kouyou alone so late at night, knowing him, he’d either re-decorate the apartment, or cook something and burn the house down. He wasn’t willing to risk that, at all.

Yuu changed quickly into his comfy pajamas and then slipped on his new fuzzy slippers that Kouyou bought him. He smiled as he looked down and saw the purple fuzzy slippers resting comfortably on his feet. He didn’t know what Kouyou did, but he had an extraordinary way of persuading people, it was insane. It was virtually impossible to deny a creature as adorable as Kouyou. Yuu hardly ever said no to him, Kouyou could do and say anything to him and he’d take it, maybe it was because he was madly in love with him, but Kouyou as a person was entirely too endearing.

“Oh I see you’re wearing the new slippers I got you!” Kouyou exclaimed as he saw Yuu coming down the hallway, “they look so cute!”

Yuu flushed slightly, “Thank you, they’re really comfortable.”

Kouyou poured the hot coffee into an over-sized mug and then handed it to Yuu. “All the creamers, and sugars are on the table.” He added, “I’ll just pour myself some and I’ll go join you.” Yuu grabbed his mug of coffee and went to sit at their small dining table. He looked at the different arrangement of creamers, and picked out his favorite from the bunch.

“I didn’t know we drank that much coffee.” The brunette commented, “We have like eight different creamers.”

Kouyou sat down in front of Yuu and grabbed the caramel flavored creamer. “I love my coffee, and you know that. I just like to have a variety you know? Maybe tomorrow I want to have Irish cream! What’s wrong with that?”

Yuu half smiled at Kouyou’s little fit, “I know you do Kou, I respect your caffeinated obsession, trust me.”

“So you enjoyed today?” Kouyou asked, “Even I enjoyed today! I think we needed that.”

Yuu nodded, “I had a wonderful time, and we really did. I love spending time with you.” Kouyou blushed as he stood up and went to pour himself some more coffee, “Hm, how about after we finish drinking coffee we go cuddle on the couch and watch a movie? If we fall asleep it’s okay, sound good?” Yuu could really go for some cuddling at this point, he wanted nothing more than to feel Kouyou’s body next to his.

“That sounds like the perfect idea.” he said as he kept tipping his coffee back until it was all gone, then setting the mug in the sink. “I’ll go get everything ready!” he exclaimed happily as he sprinted towards the living room, his favorite thing in the world was watching a movie cuddled on the couch with the blonde, he would never pass that up.

Kouyou stood near the sink drinking the rest of his coffee carelessly, “Okay, I’ll be right there.” He called out.

Yuu went into the living room and started setting up the couch. He got the blankets out and a few pillows. Then he began to rummage through their DVD collection, he was aiming to find something boring and long so they’d get tired quickly and fall asleep faster. “What are you in the mood for watching?” he asked, “I picked out these three that I want to see.”

Of course Yuu picked the three most tedious films in the entire collection, hoping that Kouyou would agree to one of them. “I’ll be there in a minute!” Kouyou shouted from the kitchen, “Hold on!” Yuu set the three movies on the coffee table and sat down on the couch, he turned the TV on and coincidentally they were playing one of his favorite TV shows, now he just wanted to watch that instead.

“Alright I’m back!” Kouyou announced as he stepped in the living room, “And I brought a few friends!” Yuu looked up and realized that the blonde was holding a brand new bottle of champagne and two glasses.

“Kou, don’t you think we drank enough tonight?” Yuu asked, but Kouyou shot him down immediately. “Nonsense! It’s your birthday still. And we should celebrate, okay?” Kouyou set down the bottle on the coffee table along with the two glasses; he popped the bottle open and then poured himself and Yuu a generous amount.

“I propose a toast!” Kouyou chimed, “To you, to your health and to this new year.”

_And to us_ , Yuu let that thought linger on his mind for a bit, then he took the glass and lightly clinked it with Kouyou’s. “Cheers.” The brunette took a large sip of his champagne and felt just how strong the liquid was, this was definitely Kouyou’s favorite, he loved anything with a higher alcohol content.

“Alright so what do we have here?” Kouyou wondered as he picked up the movies, but Yuu was quick to stop him. “Wait Kou, let’s just enjoy our champagne first, and then we’ll watch the movie. We’re in no rush, right?” Yuu wanted to savor this moment, he loved it when it was just him and his angel, no one and nothing else.

“Alright…” Kouyou replied, he took another sip of his beverage and then poured himself some more. “Do you like it?” the blonde asked, “It’s an imported brand. It was a little expensive, but it’s for a special occasion.” Yuu nodded, he wasn’t a huge fan of alcohol, but this precise champagne was exquisite, and was quick to serve himself yet another glass.

As the minutes diminished, so did the liquid inside the bottle. Both men had enjoyed the champagne a little too much, especially Yuu. He wasn’t a drinker, but for some odd reason he was drinking a bit too much.

“Okay…” Kouyou said as he stood up, slightly toppling over, “I think we should put in the movie now.” Yuu agreed and then laid his head down, the entire room was now spinning around making him feel a little too dizzy. Either way, he didn’t regret enjoying the evening with his best friend, even if it meant getting a little drunk, he wouldn’t mind paying for it later in the morning.

“I don’t even know how to turn this thing on!!" Kouyou complained as he pushed a bunch of different buttons on the DVD player, “Yuu-sama! Help me!” Yuu groaned, but went to help his friend nonetheless. “The on button is here Kou..." he instructed him.

“Oh okay! I’ll get the movie,” Kouyou sprinted towards the coffee table and picked up a random movie without even looking, and as he bent down to pick it up, his shirt rode up exposing his entire lower back, and what Yuu saw made him shake with worry.

“Kouyou what happened to you?” Yuu asked, “Your back, it’s completely purple! You have a horrible bruise!”

The blonde pulled his shirt down quickly, and shook his head. “What? No, nothing happened. I bumped into something, it’s nothing!”

But Yuu wasn’t buying it, “No I don’t believe you! W-Who did this to you?”

Kouyou groaned loudly, “I told you Yuu-chan, I bumped into something, and no one did this to me!”

“Kouyou,” Yuu said calmly as he held the other’s hands tenderly, “look at me in the eyes and swear to me no one did this to you.”

He looked down, the humiliated look on his face too obvious to ignore. “One of those sick bastards did this to you, didn’t they?” Yuu asked vehemently, “God Kou look at you! When are you going to have some self respect?”

Kouyou’s pupils suddenly widened as tears began to unwillingly spill from his eyes. “How dare you say that to me Yuu?! I do have self respect, it may not be a lot but it’s the only thing keeping me sane right now!”

Yuu got angry without warning as soon as he heard those words slip through Kouyou’s lips, “If you had any form of self respect you wouldn’t do what you do Kou. You’d have a REAL job, and you wouldn’t be selling yourself for money, and letting these sons of bitches lay their hands on you!!!” Yuu caught his breath, “Do you know how much it fucking hurts me to see you do this to yourself? I don’t say shit because I know that whatever I say isn’t going to change your mind.”

Kouyou was absolutely speechless, he had nothing to add because he knew that Yuu was right, it was all true, he had no self respect, he had absolutely nothing to say for himself. “Maybe you’re right,” Kouyou whispered, “I have nothing. I’m completely worthless; I don’t know why you put up with me, or why you even care. I’m a lost cause Yuu, and I know this. I’ve never been good at anything; this is the only thing I know how to do.”

Yuu sighed, noticing the defeat in Kouyou’s tone, “Kouyou, please don’t think like that. Listen, I didn’t mean to yell at you. And what you’re saying; it’s not true. Do you know how intelligent you are? Or how beautiful you are? You could be out there doing better things with your life because I know you’re capable. And the best part about you doing something else would be you doing it with dignity.”

Kouyou sat back down on the couch, his tears falling like an interminable cascade down on his face. “I don’t think I’m any of that Yuu,” He whispered feebly, “Do you know for how long I’ve been jealous of you? Of how determined you are, and what a good person you are? I try, hell, I try harder than anything to be half as good as you, but I’ll never be like you.”

Yuu sat down next to Kouyou and wiped his tears away, “You don’t have to be like me to be a good person. You just have to be yourself, and I think you’re an amazing person, and not just that, but you’re perhaps one of the most beautiful humans I’ve ever met, not just on the outside, but on the inside as well. I just don’t think you give yourself enough credit.”

Kouyou looked up at Yuu, his sparkly brown eyes glistening with the remnants of his tears, “I-I love you...” His voice had diminished to a low whisper, but Yuu had heard him loud and clear.

His heartbeat sped up, he palms growing sweaty, but he didn’t feel as shocked as he’d expect, because in that moment the look of love was so clear in Kouyou's eyes, they make Yuu feel complete and for a moment the world around them just stopped spinnng.

“I love you _too_ Kouyou,” he finally replied, “God I love you so much, and I’ve never told you.”

Kouyou rested his head on Yuu’s shoulder, his frail arms clinging to Yuu’s strong torso. “I never told you either, and I feel stupid for keeping it from you for so long.”

Yuu kissed the top of Kouyou’s golden head and took a deep breath; suddenly he could breathe easier, the huge weight he had been carrying for years now had finally gone away.

Yuu and Kouyou sat in silence for a few minutes, they couldn’t continue on with their conversation especially after they finally confessed to each other. Yuu felt an immeasurable amount of happiness in his heart, whereas Kouyou felt happy too, but he felt relieved more than anything.

It was kind of silly how things suddenly happened like that; it all just had to come down to this.

Yuu couldn’t take it anymore, and seeing the bright purple bruise on Kouyou’s back was the last straw. He couldn’t bear to see his Kouyou hurt, and he agreed that his anger got the best of him, even if the alcohol did most of the talking, but at the same time he got to see a brand new side of Kouyou that he’d never witnessed before.

Usually Kouyou would defend his job to no end, even if he was making shit up, he’d defend it and lie just to cover up someone else’s mess. But this time he didn’t fight it, he succumbed to reality. And Yuu believed that Kouyou was too getting sick of it, he couldn’t bare to lie anymore. He didn’t see a point to it, and Yuu was glad that Kouyou finally took off the veil, that he finally saw that all he needs has been in front of him ever since his childhood.

He realized he didn't need people’s fake admiration to feel important and loved, all he needed was to open his eyes and see what has always been right before him.

*******

“Why do I suddenly feel better?” the blonde inquired reverently,“Everything just suddenly feels right.”

Yuu snuggled closer to Kouyou, his hands holding him tightly by the hips, he no longer felt hesitant holding him in that position, now that his true feelings were out in the open, he felt as if though he had a bit more freedom regarding where he could touch him. Even if they were still friends, what they had just confessed to each other was bound to change their relationship forever.

“Everything feels right because there’s no more lies between us Kou.” Yuu answered truthfully, “Do you have any idea of how long I’ve been in love with you?”

The blonde smiled to himself, the same question lingering about in his mind, “Probably around the same as me, since we met.” He replied, “I’ll be honest with you Yuu, I didn’t want to ever tell you because I thought you only saw me as a friend. I didn’t think that I’d ever be good enough for you. You deserve to be with someone who will give you more than what I can give you.”

Yuu lightly huffed in disbelief, “You give me everything I want and more and I wouldn’t change a thing about you.”

A small tear slipped past Kouyou’s rosy cheek, he turned around to face Yuu, his bright brown eyes gazing dreamily into the other pair of eyes that looked just as dreamy, “Do you really mean that?” he asked. Yuu nodded, his hand cupping Kouyou’s cheek tenderly, “with all my heart.” Kouyou grabbed Yuu’s hand and kissed it lovingly, “That means so much to me Yuu, you make me happy, more than anyone else.”

Those words made Yuu’s heart melt into a puddle of happiness and contentment. “To be honest with you, over time I forgot the true meaning of love, and the feeling of being loved,” Kouyou whispered, “but you make me feel safe, and happy, and now that you’ve revealed your true feelings, I think I understand exactly what love is all about, and that’s something you’ve always given me, even when we were little kids.”

Yuu smiled, he placed Kouyou’s soft blonde locks behind his ear, letting the echo of his best friend’s sweet words vacillate in his ears. “I’ve always loved you, since the moment you spoke to me. I knew that you and I were going to be together for a really long time.” Yuu replied, “I fell hard on my face for you, and I don’t ever regret it.”

Kouyou turned his body slightly and then sat up so he faced Yuu, “Prove one last thing to me...” he whispered tentatively.

Yuu’s eyes grew wide in bewilderment, “What?" he asked. Kouyou leaned forward mere inches away from Yuu’s mouth.

“Kiss me.” He said softly.

Yuu suddenly got a huge lump in his throat, his palms got sweaty and his heart began beating irregularly fast, he gulped, but showed no sign of weakness as he filled in the gap and planted a soft and fervent kiss on Kouyou’s plump mouth.

No words could describe how good it felt to finally kiss Kouyou; the sweet taste of his mouth was perhaps the best thing he’d ever tasted. No words ever could describe the feelings Yuu got surging through his body. Every nerve in his system was tingling, and every hair on the back of his neck had stood up. Kissing Kouyou was like a drink to a dying man, he simply couldn’t get enough of it.

Yuu could feel his heart beating faster and faster against his chest, yet he continued to explore Kouyou’s wonderful mouth. “Yuu…” Kouyou moaned delightedly as he opened his mouth, gladly welcoming Yuu’s tongue inside.

Kouyou was ecstatic to finally get to feel that beautiful piece of metal against his own tongue, he had always been a sucker for piercings; he loved the taste of something metallic in his mouth.

He continued to skillfully make out with Yuu, letting his inner vixen come out as he grabbed Yuu’s face adoringly, letting him taste each centimeter of his mouth in the best way that he could. Yuu was beyond cloud nine at this point, for it being his first time kissing another man, he didn’t find it difficult or strange. He let Kouyou take the lead in a way that didn’t make him uncomfortable, if anything it made his stomach churn and his face turn red. This is all he truly wanted, all he could ever ask for. He just wanted to finally say that Kouyou was his and his only, in a way they were sealing their love with a _kiss._

“I love you so much Yuu, please let me prove it to you…” Kouyou breathed against Yuu’s mouth wantonly, he was practically on top of him, their bodies rocking up and down as they kissed.

“You already have Kou.” Yuu answered as he tried to catch his breath.

“No, I want to REALLY show you just how much I love you.” Kouyou said again, this time a bit more incessant. He lightly tugged at Yuu’s pajama pants to give him a hint. And that’s when it made sense to Yuu, but was he ready to do that with Kouyou? It was a bit too soon to move on to sex, he wanted to kiss him, yes, but sex was a whole other level.

“Kou, no…I can’t...we can't,” Yuu replied, he lightly pushed Kouyou off of him, making the blonde pout in disappointment. “It’s too soon, don’t you think?”

But Kouyou shook his head, “Are you not experiencing the same thing that I’m experiencing too?” he began “We’ve been secretly in love with each other for years and years, how often does that happen? I want you Yuu, sorry to be so straightforward, but you’ve made me wait for far too long. I don’t think I’m making the wrong decision here, I really want to be with you, I need to be with you. I want us to be in a relationship, I want there to be kisses, and touches, and sex. I just want to show you a world that you’re a stranger to.”

Yuu’s eyebrows furrowed, he didn’t really know what to say, he too wanted to be with Kouyou, and he had to realize that if they began dating, he was going to have to take a plunge into a whole new world. A world that was still very much taboo in the society which they lived in. That's when Yuu realized that in Kouyou's world, sex was the ultimate test.

Kouyou had never been with someone who respected him let alone love him. Yuu knew that Kouyou didn't need to sleep with him to prove his love to him, he wanted to let the other know that sex isn't the most important thing you can do for another person.

“Listen Kouyou, I want to be with you too, so fucking much. I don’t think you realize how much I truly care about you. I just don’t want us to rush to anything, I want to start off slow and I want us to grow mentally as two people that just want nothing but mutual happiness. I know that I’m not rushing you to do anything you’re not ready for, but you’re kind of rushing me.”

Saying this really made Yuu upset because deep down he wanted to keep going, but something tugged at him and told him that he should wait for it instead. He grabbed Kouyou’s hands and kissed them over and over, “I don’t want to ruin anything with you Kou, you’re too important to me. And don’t think it’s because I don’t want you. Heavens knows I’ve been dying to touch you.”

“Then touch me.” Kouyou moaned lowly, he grabbed Yuu’s hands and placed them over his bare thighs, and then the blonde began coaxing his hands up slightly towards his torso. Yuu let his hands rest over Kouyou’s thighs; they were warm, soft, and inviting. Yuu wanted desperately to spread Kouyou’s legs open and show him just how much he truly loved him, that’s why he pulled away and stopped touching Kouyou.

“What’s wrong?” the blonde asked, Yuu shook his head; he didn’t want to rush anything that was all. “Kou, I love you. You don't have to sleep with me to prove that you love me...just being here with you, holding you and kissing you means everything to me. I want things to move at a slower pace because what you mean to me is more important than my carnal desires. You are my everything," He leaned forward and pressed an ardent kiss yet again to Kouyou’s lips.

“You always have been a gentleman,” Kouyou breathed against Yuu’s mouth, he placed his hands on Yuu’s cheeks and deepened the kiss. “I'm sorry,” he began, "I'm not very good at this whole dating thing, and I just thought that..." but before he could finish Yuu kissed him again, molding his hands on his delicate face.

"I know Kou, please know that I want you...just at this moment, this is all I could ever ask for.." The moment he had been dying for was finally happening, but Yuu didn’t want to do something he’d regret doing later, he knew in the end it would be worth it to wait, sharing soft touches meant a lot more to him than anything else.

“Do you want to atleast lay down on my bed?” Kouyou asked impulsively, it was beginning to get really late and Kouyou was beginning to get a little restless too. Yuu of course agreed, he had never slept in Kouyou’s bed, not once. He really wanted to see what it would feel like to be in bed with his best friend, to feel their body heat engulf them both under Kouyou’s soft linen sheets. It had always been a secret dream of his to be intimate in Kouyou’s bed with him, if he ever got the chance of course; he wanted them to have their first and last time in that bed and nowhere else.

“Are you tired? I’m not,” Kouyou asked as he stood up, “let’s just go cuddle some more!” the flustered blonde playfully ran towards his room and jumped on his bed. Yuu was a little tired, but he didn’t want to fall asleep, especially not after everything that was happening.

He still wasn’t sure if everything that was going wasn’t a dream, it didn’t seem believable. Yuu walked slowly towards Kouyou’s bedroom, the floor under his feet seemed to be moving and the walls around him seemed to be missing. He definitely knew that the biggest culprit that evening had been the alcohol; he supposed he needed that extra liquid courage in his system.

“Well, don’t you look comfortable?” Yuu commented as he walked inside only to find Kouyou sprawled on his bed. Kouyou just groaned in response, it was evident the blonde was tired too; he just didn’t want to admit it, he’d cover it up with his hyperness.

Yuu hesitantly began to walk towards the bed, he didn’t know if he should sit or just stand there. “Don’t be so shy,” Kouyou said cheekily as he sat up, “Lay down!” he grabbed Yuu’s hand and pushed him down onto the bed.

Much to Yuu’s surprise the bed was extremely soft and it smelled just like Kouyou; a wonderful medley of strawberries and lavender. Kouyou rested his head on Yuu’s shoulder and sighed, he had his hand right over Yuu’s heart; he could feel how it began to beat faster and faster as he got closer and closer to him.

“Doesn’t this seem surreal?” Kouyou asked lowly, “one minute ago we were so oblivious to each other’s feelings, and now we can’t seem to get our hands off each other. And honestly, finding out this way just makes me want to love you more, and really prove to you how much you mean to me.”

Yuu kissed the top of Kouyou’s head, “it is surreal, I feared your rejection so much Kou. That’s why I never told you.” Yuu took a deep breath, his eyes beginning to feel heavier and heavier by the second.

“And I feared your rejection,” Kouyou whispered, “Perhaps I was just being dumb.”

The minutes dragged on by as the two men cuddled together, they had gotten under the covers and had shared plenty of loving touches and kisses. Yuu couldn’t seem to stop kissing every inch of Kouyou’s face, he loved digging his nose in the crook of the blonde’s neck and planting soft kisses along his jaw line.

Kouyou had climbed on top of Yuu and began kissing at his collar bone, somehow in the midst of their affair, Yuu’s shirt had gone missing and was replaced by Kouyou’s lips, those plush lips felt like a taste of heaven as they made contact with Yuu’s chilled flesh, lightly sucking and licking on his collar bone and neck.

This is exactly what Yuu pictured when he thought of what he’d want to do with Kouyou, he just wanted to enjoy the blonde’s company and share loving memories. Now he felt sillier than ever for keeping this from him for so long, he was just so fearful of losing Kouyou over something stupid like insecurity. He was going to try his hardest now to redeem himself and try to make Kouyou as happy as ever, especially now that he was his unofficial boyfriend.

He knew that soon enough things were going to become a little different, especially knowing how spontaneous Kouyou was. In the past he would jump Yuu on various occasions just to attack him with hugs and tickles, now whenever Yuu would get tackled he’d most likely get eaten alive by Kouyou’s feverish kisses.

Yuu’s heart fluttered at the thought of that, he knew that soon enough their relationship would take on a more intimate path and they’d be able to do things that they couldn’t do before. Yuu wasn’t dumb, he felt the sexual tension just as much as Kouyou did, and he knew that he had voluntarily turned down Kouyou that night, he wasn’t rejecting him wholly; he just needed a little more time. And if anything, he wanted to be the one to initiate something, for once, he wanted to be the spontaneous one.

“You know…” Kouyou began, “I don’t mean to creep you out by this, but whenever I was lying in bed with Akira, all I could ever picture was you.”

Yuu turned to face Kouyou, his eyebrow raised in question, “What?” he asked.

The blonde blushed profoundly and sighed, “It’s the truth. Don't act so surprised Yuu-chan, you do know that I saw your web history once. I might've seen my name in your search history a few times..." The brunette didn’t even reply because he knew it was the truth, but he wasn’t going to go into detail as to what he had done to himself while watching Kouyou's movies.

"That's kinda rude, you know," was all Yuu said. Kouyou let out an amused chuckle, “Yuu, you don’t know how happy you make me,” the blonde whispered as his hand rested on Yuu’s warm cheek. “I know it was your birthday, but you really made today memorable day.” Yuu kissed Kouyou’s hand.

“You complete me Kou,” Yuu answered truthfully, “I’m glad I spent it with you and you only.” Yuu reached forward and planted a kiss on the blonde’s forehead. Then he rested his chin on top of the golden strawberry locks. “I-It was unexpected what happened, I hate keeping things from you, but I was being a coward. I wasted precious time, so many years went by and I was oblivious to everything. I’m sorry Kou…” Yuu was suddenly interrupted by the small breaths that became audible as Yuu realized Kouyou had fallen asleep.

He watched his precious angel sleep pressed against his chest, his face looking as serene and ethereal as ever. Yuu pressed his lips to Kouyou’s once more, “Good night my angel.” He whispered, “I love you.”

In a matter of minutes Yuu had fallen victim to Morpheus’s arms and slept soundly right beside his _lover_

******************************

The following morning Yuu was rudely woken up by the bright and obnoxious rays of the sun that permeated through the curtains. His head was pounding extremely hard, and his body felt utterly weak.

“W-What happened?” he asked himself, “Why am I in Kouyou’s bed? And where’s my shirt?” he stood up, his body aching and his eyes going in all different directions. As Yuu reached down to pick up his shirt, he realized he smelled a lot like Kouyou. The intoxicating scent of the blonde’s cologne was making him remember everything.

Yet the previous night still felt like a dream, like it never happened. He slipped on his t-shirt and wobbled his way out of the room, Yuu wasn’t much of a drinker so feeling hung over was a new feeling for him.

He was suddenly welcomed by Kouyou’s presence as he stepped into the kitchen, he noticed the blonde sitting down at the table drinking his coffee and reading the paper nonchalantly. “G-Good morning Kou,” Yuu announced as he walked towards Kouyou.

The blonde’s eyes lit up as he practically tripped over his own feet to greet Yuu. “Good morning baby!” he squealed, he wrapped his arms around Yuu’s neck and kissed him on the mouth. Yuu’s eyes widened in bewilderment; what is going on? He thought to himself, maybe last night wasn’t a dream after all.

“Did you sleep well?” Kouyou asked.

“I slept well,” Yuu nodded, “but I’m in a lot of pain right now.” Kouyou half smiled at the brunette and handed him two pills, “I expected that response.”

He walked over to the kitchen counter and grabbed the two bottles of alcohol, “Both are completely empty.” Kouyou swung them around and then threw them in the trash can. “Take those pills and then go lay down,” Yuu got yet another playful kiss from the blonde, then he watched him walk away back into his room.

What just happened? Yuu asked himself quietly, he was still in such a haze, he had absolutely no clue what was going on around him. He swallowed both of the pills with the little bit of water that was left in one of the glasses forgotten from the night before, and then went to sit on the couch in the living room.

The day was extremely bright, and Kouyou just so happened to have both the windows open. It was perhaps one of the nicest days in all of the winter, and surprisingly the temperatures had gone up sporadically.

Yuu rested his sore head against the couch, he felt absolutely drained and tired. He still didn’t understand why Kouyou hadn’t mentioned anything about the previous night, yet he was acting the part. Yuu didn’t want to be the one to act a fool and ask, he figured it would be better to just play along until Kouyou brought up the topic again.

“So what are the plans for today?” Kouyou suddenly asked as he sat next to Yuu on the couch, Yuu was startled; his reflexes were still a bit off. “Can we stay home Kou?” he wondered, “I’m really tired.”

Kouyou half smiled and rested his head on his usual spot. "Okay baby, that’s fine.” He replied softly. Yuu slightly pulled away, just inching his body a little; this made the blonde somewhat insecure. “What’s wrong?” he whispered to Yuu, “why are you acting so weird? Did you already forget last night?”

Yuu took a deep breath and looked at Kouyou in the eyes, “Everything…” he paused, “everything is a haze. I have no clue if what happened last night was real of if I’m still dreaming…”

Kouyou grabbed Yuu’s hands and squeezed them tightly, “I can reassure you that last night did indeed happen, and we spent the night together. And it was amazing.”

Yuu’s eyes suddenly grew twice their size in shock, “What!” he exclaimed, “Did w-we h-have s-sex?”

Kouyou giggled and shook his head, “No, but I wanted to. But you were being all sentimental, and forced abstinence on me.”

Yuu sighed in relief, “Then what did we do?”

“We kissed, several times.” Kouyou smirked silkily, “We cuddled, and just spent time together, something we haven’t done in awhile.” Yuu still couldn’t believe all of that had happened and he was slightly unaware of half the events.

“Did you find out that I’m in love with you?” Yuu asked quietly, he looked up at Kouyou with an endearing look.

“I did,” Kouyou replied with the same look in his eyes, “and you found out that I’ve been in love with you too.”

Yuu leaned forward and kissed Kouyou’s lips carefully, he let the heat of the moment linger on for a few seconds until he pulled away. “Just wanted to make sure this was real.” He breathed against the blonde’s mouth.

Kouyou smiled and kissed him once more, “this is as real as it’s ever going to get Yuu-chan."

******************************

“So…I have news.” Kouyou announced a bit hesitantly, he was currently lying in Yuu’s arms indulging the quietness of the morning. “And what are these news?” Yuu asked, “Something good I’m assuming.”

Kouyou nodded and then looked up at Yuu. “Yuu, I quit my job.”

Yuu felt his heart beat stop beating for about a fraction of a second, his head got heavy and his vision blurry. “You did what?” he blurted out, “when?”

Kouyou sat up and began explaining, “I called them this morning while you slept. I didn’t want to tell you right away because I knew that you’d be disoriented, but now that you’re alive. I wanted to tell you that I quit, because I couldn't do it anymore."

Kouyou stood up and walked into the kitchen, making Yuu question him even more.

“But wait!” he called out after him, “what does that mean?"

Kouyou rummaged through the fridge and got out a cold bottle of water, “It just means that I quit Yuu, I ended it all so I can be with you.” Yuu sat down, his mouth slightly open; he had been waiting to hear that since the moment Kouyou told him he got the job, yet he didn’t feel the excitement that he’d hope to feel.

“But why do you seem sad?” Yuu asked as he sat on the a kitchen stool, “Shouldn’t you be happy?”

Kouyou sat down next to Yuu, his body language seeming dull and melancholy. “I am happy, happy to be with you.” The blonde replied, “But sad that I won’t ever make as much money ever again...back to feeling like I'm not worth much...”

Yuu shook his head, refusing to believe what the blonde said to him. “Why do you think like that Kou?” Yuu began “Why are you convinced that you’re not worth anything? You can still go to school, and get a degree in something. You don’t have to be a genius to succeed in life, you have it in you to be so much more.”

Kouyou took another sip of his water; he was listening, but had absolutely nothing to add. “Look at me Kou.” Yuu grabbed Kouyou’s hands and made him face his way, “you’re smart, and determined. And I’m not just saying this because you’re my best friend. I fell in love with the most charming and amazing boy that I could ever possibly meet, there’s a reason you’re in my life, as there’s a reason I’m in yours.”

Kouyou gazed into Yuu’s eyes; still he had nothing to say, “If you’re so tired of being a nobody, then make a somebody out of yourself.” Kouyou’s eyes began to water; he threw his arms around Yuu’s neck and cried in the crook of his neck. “I-I just want to be someone that makes you happy...” Kouyou whispered through muffled whimpers, “T-that’s all I-I want to d-do.”

Yuu grabbed his body tenderly and looked at him thoughtfully, “You’ve always made me happy Kouyou, that hasn’t changed, and it’s never going to change.” He kissed the blonde’s forehead lovingly “But you’re going to have to start making yourself happy too; you have to live for you as well.”

Kouyou tried to catch his breath, he definitely wasn’t expecting to have a breakdown so early in the day. “Can you t-teach me to be more assertive?” Kouyou murmured.

“Only if you teach me how to be more like you,” Yuu replied.

“Why me?” Kouyou wondered, “I’m nothing special.”

“That’s where you’re wrong Kou, I’ve always admired you.” Yuu answered, “You have so much potential, and everything comes so naturally for you. I think that’s your biggest issue; you need to give yourself more credit for how amazing you are.”

Kouyou could feel the pigments on his face getting redder and redder; he wanted nothing more than to hug the living daylights out of Yuu for the rest of eternity.

“Let’s make it a deal,” Kouyou said, “we’ll both continue to learn from each other and take it from there. Now that I’m free from my bounds, I can start pursuing the things I want in life.”

Yuu couldn’t be happier to hear those words coming out of Kouyou’s mouth, “It’s a deal.” He grabbed the blonde’s face and kissed him fervently, “Thank you again for yesterday.” Yuu whispered in Kouyou’s ear, “I couldn’t have asked for a better day.” Kouyou kissed him again and smiled, “You’re welcome Yuu, you made it special too; it was unexpected in the best of ways.”

Yuu held Kouyou’s body protectively against his, he could feel the faint beating of Kouyou’s heart against his chest, the heart that he had been longing to steal, he wanted nothing more than to keep making Kouyou happy until time made them part ways.

Yuu knew that deep down; they would remain connected even as their bodies withered into dust. Yuu's main focus as of now would be Kouyou’s eternal happiness, this is something he knew that he could achieve, especially because Kouyou’s heart was already his.

"Oh, I almost forgot to give you your gift," Kouyou said as he reached behind him. He handed Yuu a small rectangular box with a bright red bow on it.

"I really hope you like it baby," the blonde smiled as he handed Yuu the box.

Yuu looked at him lovingly as he opened the box, his face instantly lighting up as he marveled at the photo in his hands.

It was clear as day that in the photo their love was already blooming. "I got a new frame for it," Kouyou whispered, "and I had it engraved."

“Best friends until the end of time. Your smile always makes me smile, I love you my angel."

This was a promise that Yuu was intending to keep, _forever._

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this in 2011, so it's rough lol but it definitely isn't the worst. I wrote this when I began to dabble with more lengthy pieces. Either way, enjoy~


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